The Heart Speaks For Itself
by EmO-tIoNaL94
Summary: Bella and edward share a mutual feeling and that is hatred! But when thay are forced into marraige will they file a divorce or give each other the sweet pleasure of toes curling sex or will it be something else altogether?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: all the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, but the idea of this fanfic is mine… **

**Dreams Crushed**

"**Do you know how it feels like when what you have wanted your whole life is ripped right in front of your eyes? Everything that you have always dreamt of… I bet you don't. But I sure as hell do." --- Bella**

**BELLA'S POV**

"No! Why cant you understand... I don't want to get married now! And how can you just fix everything without even asking me?!... Forget that do you know that you are ruining my life?! Did you even try to think whether i liked the person or not?..." A loud sob escaped my throat; i just couldn't believe that this was happening to me... Out of every one, was i the only person who had to endure this torture... How funny i am calling this particular situation torture...

I thought this was going to be the most amazing, exciting, spectacular thing that could happen to me and do you want me to keep going on, you get the picture.

But my dad just comes waltzing in my little fantasy world where i was planning my perfect romantic future, with some really soft music playing in the background while i twirled in slow circles and suddenly my dad decides to change the music to some disgusting rock music and ruin everything, every single fantasy, every single thing i ever wanted or maybe wanted is not strong enough word, actually, he ruined everything that i needed but moreover he destroyed, smashed and shattered all my dreams.

"Bella, dear, please try to understand... you know i would never do anything without considering your wellbeing first... What ever i am doing is for all our lives to be the same way as it used to be. I want all our lives to be on a straight happy path again. Bella, dear, please try to understand. Don't make it even harder for us." Charlie, my dad said this in a tortured voice.

Right he thinks i am making it hard for him he does not realize why this particular topic means a lot to me. I have never argued about anything with either of my parents. If they had decided something for me, i have just sucked up all my wishes to go along with what they want.

if they have already decided to destroy my life than i am going to do exactly what i always do, and that is, shut up and go along with their wishes, but the only difference now, is going to be that i will not take a little bit of pleasure in this and nor am i going to acknowledge it.

And the only reason i am doing this is because i love both my parents no matter what they are doing. And i hate myself because of that.

"Dad if you want me to marry who ever that asshole is than i will marry him. But keep this in your mind that i will never, i mean never ever, going to forgive you for what you are doing to me because this was the only thing that mattered to me a lot, but you thought that you have a damn right to decide about this also. And one more thing i will never be happy, the little bit of happiness that i had you ripped it apart from me just like you did with every thing else."

And with that i stormed up to my room with tears flowing freely, i didn't even try to control them like i always do and put on a brave face. But no, i wanted them to know how devasted i am.

I left both of my parents in the library. My dad sat in the big single, comfy couch in front of the fire, while my mom Renee shed some tears quietly, standing behind the chair.

My dad is a big, successful, international company owner. But my father has been struggling the past few months. He hardly slept; he had big, deep, dark circles under his eyes. He was a pure definition of exhaustion. It looked as if some one has just sucked all of his blood out of his system.

I have no idea about the crises that has stricken my dad's company, and the thing that pises me off even more is the fact that my parents don't think I am capable of knowing what is going on with my family.

They will only give me vague details, like we have been facing some problems.

They think i am a stupid four year old who can't understand what is going on around her. Just thinking it makes my temper flare, and a new round of tears start spilling from my ever full storage of tears. But this time they are angry tears.

I hate how fucking emotional i get sometimes, or maybe all the time.

They both would pretend as if nothing is going on and its just one of those normal up and down that a person has to face in business.

When it was a really big deal.

And the only reason i know this is because i know both my parents really well. Even if they try really hard, i detect it mostly very easily when they lie to me.

It's like i am their personal lie detector. But it only happens with them,

And if any other person lies to me i will really oblivious to it. Mostly. Ha, how cliché.

I have been noticing those bleary and blood shot eyes of both my parents. And once when i woke up to get a glass of water at midnight and when i heard sounds of someone sniffing from the library, i followed the sound. And what i saw just broke my heart.

My mom and dad both were sitting on the sofa and crying.

I have been trying to ignore all the other signs i was picking up, i just didnt want to pry any thing from them. I was giving them time and let them tell me what was bothering them rather than i go confront them.

But at that moment i broke all my resolves, and just went into the room, but i heard my mom ask my dad and my dad answer her, put a halt on my feet.

That was one conversation that i can never forget...

But I had that little hope that maybe; maybe, he might change his mind... And take that other option... But i knew my father better than to do that.

But what hurts even more is he picked the other option over me... And without consulting me at that...

But i should have just learnt my lesson long ago, 'to never hope', but like an ass I am, I didn't listen to that small voice that was screaming at me, saying that, whatever is happening and is going to happen is not good.

For a second I was kind of happy, until what i saw the next day.

Dread coursed through me, and that is when i really realized that my life is literally over...

And because of my father's shitty health my mom is also worry her ass off. And now she is also as tired and exhausted as he is.

And this is the reason I agreed to or rather let my dad and mom stomp on my dreams (maybe reluctantly).

I love my mom and dad no matter what they do. Because i would rather have my dreams crushed and sacrificed than watch my parents suffer from a heart attack or any other disease which can drag my parents away from me.

I have asked or rather my mom and dad to not tell me the name of the person who will be my 'lawfully' wedded husband but never my real acknowledged husband with the strings of love attached with him.

I locked the door of my room loudly, purposely, to let them know that I am angry.

My room was nothing out of the ordinary, though my parents are pretty much rich I still like to stay down to earth. That is just how I roll.

I plopped on my really comfy bed and thought about all the events that took place recently… I just can't believe how my life had transformed in just a few weeks.

I really wanted to share all my feelings with some one, some one who I can really trust, some one who I'll be sure of not spreading my words around.

And the only person that comes to my mind when I think about this is my mom. Renee.

But it seems like I can't trust her also.

I know that I am acting a bit stubborn even though I know all the damn reasons, but I just can't help myself.

My mobile beeping pulled me out of my thoughts when it started beeping.

I picked up my I-phone from the table beside my bed. It said I received a message from Angela.

I was glad for the distraction, because I seriously was going to combust if I thought any longer about the situation at hand.

I opened up her message and read it.

_**Angela: OOOOO BELLA!!! You won't believe wat jst happened! I had 2 go 2 work 2day n guess who happened 2 b dere along wid a few of us?? ERIC! N he was directly INFRONT of me!!! I reali had a hard tym workin but I still managed. N 2 top dat he kept glancing in my direction every few minutes. It was so 2tallyyy cuteee! N in da end ven I was packin my stuff he came up 2 me n exchanged pleasantries!! 4 a few minutes I was just frozen dan I snapped out of my daze n answered him back… he asked me If I wuld lyk 2 go out wid him n a bunch of his frndz!!! I said yes and now I m 2taly excited!!! B))**_

I was really happy for Angela for about a total a year of having a crush on him and continuously gushing about him, she totally needed to hook up with that guy.

And if not for than at least for my poor ears.

Not that I mind listening to her. But sometimes it really gets annoying when your friend just keep talking about one guy and keep telling what she wouldn't like to do to him if she gets a chance….

Just thinking about it made me want to puke…

I replied her as enthusiastically as I could. Ignoring my current state of mind. It's one thing when people know when you are lying but its another thing when the sense it out even from what you write.

_**Bella: OMG ANG!! dat is so kool… at last he came up n spoke to u. I already knew he likes u it was just a matter of tym. Lyk I said even guys r insecure about getting rejected…**_

With that I sent her the text message.

Within a few second I got a reply back from Angela.

_**Angela: I know but I am still not so sure…. But I really want to impress him would you help me go n buy sum new fuckin hot clothes… plzzzzz… I knw u hate shoppin n even I do, but plz help me, my life depends on dis…. Plz plz plz…**_

I swear sometimes she gets so dramatic just to convince and I am so hopeless that I even fall for her shit…

_**Bella: sure ang but ven r u goin wid him v ll make plans according to dat.**_

The minute I sent the message I got a reply back from her. Looks like she really is excited.

_**Angela: THANKOOO SOOO MUCH!! I knew I can depend on u. u r a true friend bella. N umm v r goin dis weekend dat ll b lyk dis saturdy. So v can go for shopin on Friday.**_

I really wanted to distract myself and I will even except a trip to the mall to distract my mind.

_**Bella: sure ang. Dat ll b gr8.**_

I shut off my I-phone and looked around my room. I was really surprised to see the dark sky through the window.

I lay down on my bed and pulled the comforter over my head, wishing that sleep could make me its prisoner.

But I was having no good luck.

Instead my mind wanders back to the whole situation that I have found myself in.

I wonder who my groom will be and I have a strong suspicion that my groom is going to be the asshole James. Please god I beg you don't let him be the groom.

Please.... But like usual I know my hope is going to be crushed again. But I still can't help myself from hoping. Can I? …

* * *

**Author's note: Hey fanfickers! This is my first and very original fanfic, I am saying this as I have never come across any story as such… please be patient and polite because like I said this is my very first fanfic… and please don't forget to review… 8* (smooches)**


	2. Decisions And Surprises

**Disclaimer: all the characters are originally owned by Stephenie Meyer.**

**Decisions And Surprises**

**Dairy Entry – 12:45 AM**

**Every thing has a purpose and maybe my decision brought me to see different things today, but I will know what would have happened if I have made many other decisions for my self. Will I? - Bella**

**Bella's Pov**

I woke up in the morning to my alarm blaring loudly on my nightstand…

I shuffled a bit in my bed to reach out for my stupid computerized alarm clock… sometimes I just hate it when these things wake me up when I want nothing but sleep.

It was five in the morning. I cursed under my breath as I have had a very restless night. Though I drifted off fairly quickly, but I wasn't lucky enough to have a tranquil sleep.

The moment I woke at night either because I was thirsty or was a having a weird nightmare, which when you come to think about, was not as scary as it seemed last night. My mind would drift back to the situation at hand or when got lucky to just open my eyes to the dark; and all of a sudden everything would rush back as if I was having a flash back or something.

My mind played these shitty games with me the whole night. Which of course didn't help me much, as I got a serious migraine and that didn't allow me to sleep for like two or three hours. I just kept pounding on my head to ease the pain.

Though a packet of aspirin was sitting right across my bed, I still couldn't make myself to stand, and walking was just out of the question as my legs felt like mush and my shoulders ached as if some one has just hammered them…

It felt as if even my body was betraying me and wanted to torture me, just to get a cheap and sick thrill out of it.

When finally my body and brain let me sleep, this fucking alarm of mine woke me up as I have forgotten to switch it off last night.

I switched off the alarm clock and threw it across the floor and tried drifting back.

But of course my mind had different plans, it specifically chose the memory it knew would hurt me, a memory that will cut a deep gash in my heart on the gashes that I already have. And to complete the torture it sprayed alcohol on the freshly cut gash by reminding me the expression of that person.

Tears started prickling down from my eyes…

To get rid of the images I grabbed my I-pod from my bag and put it on shuffle and started concentrating on the lyrics of the song.

- - - - - - -

I decide not to think about any of the shit that was surrounding me and just concentrate on the girls outing, as I am pretty sure I won't be getting much event as these. Need less to say how much I actually hate it but I will still miss it.

I stood under the spray of the shower, and allowed myself to enjoy the warm water. It was already three in the afternoon and I had to get ready in another one hour and meet up with Angela at the mall.

I was out of the shower in half an hour and started drying myself.

I never gave a second thought to what I was wearing but somewhere in the noon I got a weird message from Angela telling me to wear something really nice.

It sounded really weird to me because Angela was a lot like me, and when a person like you, who will not even think about cloths if it were the last thing, asks or more specifically orders me, it really is weird.

So now I stood in front of my closet thinking what I should wear. I took out my midnight colored, v-necked, long sleeved shirt. I thought it might look good on me since lots of people complimented me when I last wore it. I picked out black skinny jeans to go along with it. And since I wasn't the one who wears pencil heels or anything, I took out my black and dark blue flats to wear with the shirt and jeans I picked out.

I left my hair open and let it dry naturally and I applied a very light coat of lip gloss since I was not the one into much make up. And even if I was I still have no idea how to really use them, I just make a mess of myself when ever try to doll up.

I wrote a short note telling where I am going and left it at the kitchen counter, where I knew mom or dad would definitely see it. I wanted to avoid all direct contact with them, because I was afraid that I might burst into tears or just start venting my anger at them again since I really didn't want to do that.

I got out of the house and into the garage. I unlocked my Mercedes Benz-SLK Class SLK300 Roadster. It was two door convertible and Iridium silver metallic in color. Its interior was…. Extravagant.

My dad has this obsession with two things, first baseball and second cars. He gets me a new car every two year and I just drive them. In a way he is collecting cars and they are dear to his precious life.

I always Google about the cars I get, just so that I know what sort of a car I am driving. As if I even care about these cars. They are just cars to me and I don't get why people look at them like these things are the love of their lives.

I took the car out of the garage and drove to the mall.

I lived in Los Angles. Though I don't like it so much but what the heck, who cares where I live when I certainly don't. We have a big mansion here, I find it really weird since we are only a family of three and have a house which can fit twenty people very comfortably.

That doesn't mean I don't wish to live in place where there is no 'hustle bustle' of the city, and I could enjoy the greenery and the tranquility of the nature with my books.

I parked my car in the parking lot and picked up my purse and made my way to the gate of the mall.

Angela was already waiting for me near the gates and easily spotted me. She looked pretty nervous which totally confused me.

"Hey ang. What happened?" I greeted her.

"Oh nothing, why did you ask?" she replied.

"Because you look nervous, is there a problem?" I asked.

"Oh no, no problem at all I was just kind of thinking what I should buy, you know." She avoided my eyes while saying this, which can only mean that she is lying to me about something. I dropped the topic right there, because I didn't want to be a nosy bitch, if she waned to tell me any thing she will do it herself.

I followed her trough stores after stores and she just couldn't find anything suitable for the 'non-date'.

We were in Forever21 looking at some shirts and I was pretty much just begging her to just try a shirt. And she was glancing around anxiously. "Ang come on!" I said exasperated. "Just try this shirt and see if it looks good on you or not."

"I think this color will look really good on you." A voice chirped from behind me.

The voice sounded oddly very similar so I turned around to find the source the voice. And then my eyes fucking went wide, I stood their gaping at the for a whole of one minute.

It was Alice Cullen.

I thought she had left for Germany a long time ago but she was standing right in front of me in flesh and smiling quite brightly than I would actually like.

Because I was definitely not in the mood to see anyone smile, when I was on the verge of spilling my tears. I know it sounds selfish but that is just how bad I was feeling right now.

I pushed all my anger and resentment back that was directed at her enthusiastic smile and greeted her as cheerfully as I can manage.

"Hi Alice!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. "I thought you were in Germany. When did you get back here?"

"Oh a week or two ago." She replied nonchalantly. "It's so great that I found you here, I really wanted to see you. I was just thinking to call you but just remembered that your number just changed." She chirped suddenly gaining her enthusiasm back.

"Oh, uh, yes, that would have been great." I replied lamely because when she says she wants to hang out, she means she wants to shop. And this was the first time I ever accepted a shopping invitation willingly.

"Well didn't I just found you guys at the right place and at the right time! We could all shop together and can catch up on what we all have been doing in the past one year. And any way, Angela looks like she can use some help."

Oh no! Oh no no no… No matter how much I make myself to have some girl bonding time through shopping, it just wasn't my thing. And two hours straight of wandering through different stores was just enough for me.

"Ummm… Alice I am sure you both would like to spend the time together and I will too, but shopping is just isn't my thing and I am sure you already know that. How about both of you shop while I'll just go browse in some book stores and just hang around." I rattled of nervously.

"Oh sure Bella and I think Edward will enjoy some company since I have been dragging his ass every where. And believe me he is not a good shopping partner but so are you. I am sure you won't mind."

CAN THIS DAY GET ANY MORE WORSE THEN IT ALREADY IS?

I completely and utterly despise Edward.

He is such a prick and may I add a fucking asshole. Alice knows we never get along well… oh forget 'well' we don't get along at all.

The only times that we have spoken to each other is to pass insults at each other and sneer.

I knew Alice and Edward through my dad. I had to go along with him and mom to some business parties, where all the business men and their family also came.

And in one of those parties I found Alice.

I was sitting in the corner and mentally beating myself for not bringing my I-pod, and I was getting bored as hell. Alice all but came towards me and started chatting like I was her long lost friend. And for the first time I was really glad for the company and since I didn't have to supply much words from my part but just the occasional nod, hum and a few words. We became fast friends and exchanged our numbers.

We figured out that night that our moms were close friends and our friendship kind of bloomed even more.

And in the next party when we met again to my utter dislike I met her cocky brother Edward fucking Cullen. And from the very first moment I hated him.

His first impression was down right disgusting!

I saw him kissing a girl while groping her ass and her chest shamelessly. And I was in his so close proximity that when he finally moved his lips from her mouth to breath in some air, I could hear what all down right disgusting things he was saying to her, and to my utter shock that fucking red head was turned on by that.

I felt like puking all over my dress that my mom forced me in. so I hurriedly got away from that corner of the room.

Later on when I met him in the same party I all but spat at him and so did he.

And that is just how we carried on when ever we met.

And of course his pervert nature was and is not the only reason why I hate him…

But then again I still wasn't in the mood to argue nor was I in the mood to endure shopping so I said, "Umm, sure Alice. Where is he?" I replied glumly.

Her eyes started to sparkle. "He is outside of the store. I'll jut text him about the arrangements, you go ahead." Okay, Alice is definitely up to something. Her eyes were all but practically doing some kind of their own dance. But my mind was too occupied in other shit to give her action some space.

I dragged my feet really, really slowly towards the exit. I wanted to give him some time to argue and bicker with Alice and get himself out of the damn uncomfortable and irritating arrangement that Alice has gotten us into.

Not that I even care about where or with whom I am now. It's him that I am a bit worried about. Only a bit.

I approached the exit after some good six and a half minutes. I was timing myself.

I decided that I will not reply to any of his seething and crude comments. I will greet him and at the first sound of his fucking remarks about me, I will simply say bye and move on my own way and so will he.

No burden on either of us. Not that I even give a shit now.

Not sleeping last night was catching up on me now. I felt really exhausted. It felt as if the life was seeping out of me.

I moved my eyes from the floor where I was looking at my feet taking really small steps, I darted my eyes where Alice said he will be with a frown plastered on my face.

I looked every where my eyes could reach from where I was standing, but still couldn't find him.

And that's when a thought struck me like a bolt of lightening. Maybe Edward was successful in convincing Alice that he doesn't want to be with me and already ran away.

I was doing a mental dance as I realized that and sighed in relief.

With a smile on my face I took out my cell phone to text Alice and tell her to not worry.

_**Bella – Alice I thnk Edward went away. Don't bother him, I m fairly well on my own. N anyway I think its better dat he isn't here otherwise v wuld have been pulling each other's hair 'fighting'**_

Just as I was about to send the message, I heard a throat clear. I saw some one standing beside me some five feet away from my peripheral vision.

I thought I had seen that familiar skin before and those fingers and that jaw was oh-so-familiar.

I turned around to inspect the person further.

And that was the most idiotic mistake I did on so many levels.

It was Edward Shitty Cullen.

My heart skipped a beat, from what I couldn't quite understand. Maybe it was dread, surprise, anticipation for the damn insults or the way how gorgeous he was looking, with his hair disheveled.

He was wearing a dark brown shirt with blue jeans. His hair looked amazing as always and was just inviting me to run my fingers through them. And those green eyes… those green eyes were just hypnotizing me… and those perfect lips… were looking very kissable.

Fuck. Did I mention one more reason for why I hated this asshole? My stupid mind would just betray me and will start fantasizing about those fingers and lips and eyes and that body…

Shit shit shit shit ….

I have to focus.

I hated him even more because when ever I saw him I would nothing but drool after him even if I don't want to.

And that is also his fault!

There was no denying the fact that his guy was really fucking hot. But this asshat used it for his advantage flirting, seducing, and fucking bitches. Even unintentionally…

I hated him even more for making my brain and body react that way!

I was really disappointed to see him. I was counting on some alone time and here he was standing in front of me probably thinking about how to insult me.

We probably stood there and stared at each other to say something first. But after a few minutes the silence and staring became uncomfortable so I decided to go first and break the awkward silence.

"Umm… hi, I thought you went away." I said lamely

"No. I was just waiting for Alice and then you, after her texted me. Umm… what do you want to do?" And that's when I gaped at him like literally gaped at him, because this was the first most civilized conversation that we have ever shared without any name calling and bickering, even if they were just two lines.

But who was I to interject. May be the world finally realized how hard everything has been for me, and it is still going to intensify over the very, very near future. The world was actually sympathizing with me, finally. Even if it was just for a few hours.

Just as the thought ran through my head my face fell, mouth closed and eyes fell.

I looked at the floor while I spoke in a small voice.

"I am kind of hungry and tired, I would like to eat and sit for a while, if you don't mind."

Just as I replied something went through his eyes and he looked… surprised, before he shifted his expression into a blank one and nodded.

"Of course I don't. I was thinking about the same thing. Let's go."

And that's when I noticed that he was carrying so many shopping bags. Of course all of these were Alice's, I don't have any idea what she wants to buy now after all of these. But Alice is Alice and she will always be Alice.

"Let me help you carry these bags, I bet these are pretty heavy." I offered him out of politeness.

"No, these are not so heavy, but I would still like to keep them in the car." he replied.

"Yup, sure. Let's go" I said and took some of the bags from him.

He started leading the way towards the parking lot where his car was parked. And I followed him in silence.

He led me towards a silver car. I think it was a Volvo.

Yup it sure as hell was Volvo.

I swear this guy has an obsession with Volvos. He kept changing the models of the car every year but never changed the brand.

And this year was no different.

He opened the trunk of his car and kept the shopping bags in it and so did I. He closed his car and said, "Let's go now. What do you have in mind to eat?"

"Anything." I replied

"hmmm." He sighed.

And then we resumed our silence walk back to the mall and into the food court.

"How do you feel about a burger?" he asked when we entered the food court.

"Sure anything will do for now." I replied.

We both ordered our burgers and went to pay, but he just wouldn't let me. I looked at him with a frown on my face and said, "Edward I don't like it when any one pays for my purchases and I haven't ever let any one pay before so you aren't any different."

"So? I don't let any girl pay for food when I am with them, so now you keep quite and don't make scene there is along queue of people waiting behind us to order their food and I don't really want get beaten by all of them." He replied in a hushed whisper while leaning in close to my ear.

He paid the cashier who was eyeing us with a very weird expression.

I kept quite after that while we waited for our food and found a table to eat on.

After a few minutes Edward went and brought us our food and we began eating.

I noticed that Edward's eyes looked… sad and that was the first time I have seen it like that. I have seen mischief, humor, cockiness, arrogance and many more emotions but never sadness. And that worried me. I don't know why but it did.

I wanted to push that emotion aside but I just couldn't especially given the way he was acting today.

Something must have really happened for him to act like that. But then again who was I to question him when I was doing the same thing. So I kept my mouth tightly shut and glanced back down to my food and started munching on my fries. And was lost in thoughts again.

I started pondering on the questions if… James would let me go out or will he be easy on me for the things I said and did to him.

Just as I remembered what I had actually done I realized that there was no way for him to be easy on me in any way.

He was probably getting married to me to prove me wrong.

My eyes began to sting and I had a huge lump in my throat.

I really didn't want to make a scene and especially not in front of Edward, so I fought back my tears and tried gulping back my lump with my coke.

After a few minutes I heard him clear his throat. So I looked up to meet his curious gaze.

"What do you feel about a game?" he asked while running his hand through his hair.

"Umm, what kind of game?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh nothing hard in fact it's very simple you just have be truthful." He replied with a smile.

"Okay sure. What are we playing?" I asked relaxing immediately. Speaking the truth wasn't much of a big deal for me and if he would have said I have to lie and convince people also, than that would have been hard.

"Let's play twenty questions." He replied.

Now that made me happy and I gave him a smile because he just made it really easy for me. I could ask him what was bothering him and he couldn't lie either.

"You go first." I said. I wanted to see what kind of questions he will ask so that I can return the favor for the first ten questions.

"What is your favorite color?" he asked with a smile while eating his fries. Now that was a simple question.

"Honestly I don't really know maybe green… or anything that I really like on the particular day." I replied with a shrug. I don't know why I said green or may be I do. I really liked the color of his eyes but I wasn't going to spill that. Feeling a little embarrassed that I didn't even know what my favorite color is and just indirectly saying that I like the color of his eyes was down right embarrassing.

Of course I know my cheeks would have painted itself a slight color of pink.

That is just how ridicules I am.

"So you like blue today?" he asked while cocking his left eyebrow with a twinge of amusement in his eyes.

I huffed a little and crossed my arms over my chest because I knew he was internally getting amused by my answer.

"No, I am wearing blue for totally different reason. And you just asked me your second question." I replied smiling wickedly.

He realized that and just shrugged as if it was no big deal but his eyes still held that twinge of amusement and… curiosity.

"So, what's your favorite color? I asked

"Blue." He replied abruptly and then he had kind of a questioning look but it quickly changed into curiosity again.

"So why are you wearing blue today if it's not your favorite color?" he asked his voice dripping with curiosity.

I found it weird for him to be curious about such a stupid thing, so I replied casually, "I am wearing blue because Angela insisted that I put on some effort into my clothes today. I don't know why, but she did ask me such a favor, and it was really weird of her, because she is almost like me and I don't give a shit in what I wear. And when I wore this top before, my colleagues said that the color looks good with my skin, not that I actually know, but what the heck she appreciated it." I replied with a shrug.

"I think they were right about that." He said with a weird look.

"About what?" I asked confused.

"That it looks good on you." He said with a smile.

And then I fucking blushed.

Shit. I looked down to distract myself, and shit again, I have already finished my food to act as if I was eating so I picked up my coke and took a long sip to avoid his gaze.

I finally looked up at him and met his gaze. He had that weird expression again.

The silence was kind of awkward so I told that it was his turn to ask a question now.

"You know you also asked your second question." He stated with an amused smile.

Now it was my turn to act indifferent and as if I already knew that.

"What do you like to do in your free time?" he asked.

And just as I was about to answer him he quickly said, "No don't reply that I think I already know that answer. Reading novels. Right?" he asked with a grin.

"Yes, and how do you know that?" I asked with a mixture of confusion and shock.

"Oh, I always found you reading a book in the parties before Alice came along." He replied with a grin.

Now I was totally stunned. I didn't know he gave me much attention to notice that I read a lot of books.

But I quickly recovered and asked him a question while pointing out how many questions he has already asked me.

"What do you like to do in your free time? And you have already asked me a question so your score will be three. Oh and don't answer the question I just asked I think I already know that answer." I replied after a moment of thought with a grimace.

"Really and what will that be?" he asked in an amused tone.

"Flirting, seducing, making out and how can I forget fucking bitches." I replied with grimace.

He seemed highly amused by my answer. "Now why do you say that? Not that it's partly true." He replied chuckling softly.

"Becauuuse, I have always seen you doing one of these things in every party." I grimaced recalling the memory.

"Now I don't think you would have seen me fucking anyone." He stated getting highly amused by that.

"Oh I have seen you doing each of these things." I scoffed.

His face fell he looked… embarrassed?

"ummm… now that is… umm… not good… when did you see me doing that?" he stammered uncomfortably while looking down at his empty coke glass.

I was highly amused by his reaction.

I started out with a small chuckle which turned into a giggle and that turned into a full laugh.

And his expression didn't help me to control my laugh in fact his glare was also highly amusing.

"Oh sor-r-ry about tha-that." I replied between chuckles.

"Okay, stop glaring at me. You aren't scarring me; in fact it's even more amusing." I said while giggling.

His expression changed into amusement, and he waited patiently for me to gain control over my giggles and reply.

"Umm, it was only a one time thing I saw you fucking a girl in the washroom. In my defense I will say I had drank a lot of punch and that was the only washroom that I thought was vacant. But then I found out it wasn't, but only because of other reasons."

I grimaced when I recalled the memory of him fucking a girl. It was another one of those 'get to know each other' business parties in which I was dragged to. I had been enjoying myself quite a lot with Alice commenting on the people passing us and giggling and drinking punch all along.

It didn't help a bit when we decided to have a competition of who drinks the punch a lot.

Well of course Alice won because I had to pee.

Urgently.

I ran up the stairs to find a toilet but to my utter surprise each and every one of them were occupied. At last I found a toilet which wasn't locked, but I heard some noises. Of course I recognized those noises as some ones moans and realized someone was getting fucked nearby which was disgusting.

But I couldn't care less about it.

I quickly opened the door of the toilet to relieve my bladder. And that is when I realized that the moans were not coming from any other room but from the washroom that I thought was vacant. It was occupied for other reasons.

I swiftly slammed the door shut with a loud thud.

I partly did it intentionally.

Because the person inside, who was fucking, was red headed guy.

It was assward.

The girl was sitting on the sink her legs spread wide apart, her head thrown back with 'pleasure' while her hand gripped Edward's hair. Edward was sucking her right boob and pinching one of her nipples while his dick was inside of her and he was writhing his hips.

I was mortified by what I saw. I swiftly bolted down the stairs and joined the party. My desperate need to pee was all but forgotten and I was gasping for air.

After some minutes when I was calm enough I joined Alice at the table and didn't even think about mentioning what I saw to her.

He looked horrified with my confession and then said "I thought I heard someone shutting the door." He replied thoughtfully.

I chuckled again, and said "You have asked so many questions that I have lost count."

"Okay so how about one more question?" he asked suddenly getting serious.

"You asked me a question to ask me another question." I stated. "One more question won't hurt." I said.

He chuckled at what I said and than asked me seriously. "You looked… sad when I met you today… in front of the shop, and until recently." He stated.

My smile gave way to a frown on my face, and looks like he stole my question for him this time.

I nodded at his observation.

"Why?" he asked not caring that he was being privy.

"You know I can ask you the same question." I said

It was his turn to give way to a frown.

"I guess you can. But I asked you the question first." He stated.

"Yes you did." I sighed and shifted my eyes to my lap and decide to answer his question as vaguely as possible.

"lets just say what ever my principles and beliefs of my life were, just exist in some shitty fairy tales not in real life, and even if I have a choice to stop them from getting crushed I cant, because if I do I will not be able to live with my self." I replied in teary voice.

I looked up at him and saw that he was looking at me with a lot of concentration.

It was nerve wracking.

"And why were you sad?" I asked him to get the attention off of me.

He sighed and started fidgeting with his fingers, clasping and unclasping them.

"I have found myself in a very compromising situation." He looked up and met my gaze. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "My explanation is a lot like you except for the fairy tale shit." He said in small voice.

We stared at each other with a look which said 'I know how you feel and there is still nothing I can do to help you.'

After some time of the silence conversation between us, Edward's cell phone went off.

He cursed and picked it up.

"What Alice?" he said in a bored and annoyed tone.

"No I didn't. I am in the food court with Bella." He said glancing at me.

"Okay come to the parking lot, I will be there." He said in a sigh.

"Alice said she has to go and that your friend already went. Do you want me to give you a ride home?" he asked.

"No it's okay I have my car. What time is it any way?" I asked

I gasped when I looked at the clock in my mobile.

It has been four hours since Edward and I met in front of the shop. It seemed like only minutes have passed.

"It's been four hours and I should have been home by now." I said.

"Sure." He replied.

We both rose up from our seats.

"Bye Edward and tell Alice to call me anytime she wants I am sure she has taken my number from Angela." I said.

"Bye Bella." He replied.

- - - - - -

I hoped in my car and drove back home.

I never thought that Edward and I could even listen to each other's voices with out going crazy and biting each other but I was proved wrong. I have learnt a lot about Edward this evening and I want to see this Edward every time I meet him in future but I don't think it will ever be possible

I hope I am proved wrong in my many other assumptions and suspicions and so is he…

* * *

**Author's** **note: hi every one. i hope you like this chapter and the next chapter is probably going to be in epov. i would really like it if all of you who have been reading my story would just take a minute to review. i would really appreciate it. thank you B)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: i definately DO NOT own twilight or any of its charaters. I am just not so original.**

**Russian Roulette**

**Edward POV**

__

**Take a breath, take it deep  
Calm yourself, he says to me  
If you play, you play for keeps  
Take a gun, and count to three  
I'm sweating now, moving slow  
No time to think, my turn to go**

And you can see my heart beating  
You can see it through my chest  
And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving  
Know that I must pass this test  
So just pull the trigger - Rihanna

''Alice! How long am I suppose to follow you to your stupid fucking crazy shopping spree?! I swear to fucking god Alice if you don't let me go fast I will tell Jasper about all your antics!'' I threatened her.

My fucking sister was crazy; she has been dragging my ass in these shitty shops for what seems like an hour now.

It has been nothing but pure torture.

Added to the fact that I had to comment on each of the shirt, pant, skirt, dress, belts, purse and even a fucking necklace she tried on. And actually fucking tell her if she looked cute, hot and fucking sexy!

I mean come the fuck on! How the hell am i suppose to know if my sister looks any of those things!

Sure bring some other bitch and I will gladly tell you if she looks sexy, whether her tits are big or not, or if her pussy is fuckable or not just by how she looks.

But when it comes to your fucking sister, who cares if she is adopted sister or not the concept remains the same.

She rolled her eyes at me and said, ''Edward stop throwing tantrums like an over grown lil' girl... ''

'' Alice I can just walk out right now and you can find some one else who will willingly tell you how fuckable you look in those different shitty dresses.'' i said while fuming at her and giving her a very pointed glare.

She wasn't even faced a little bit by what I said and instead of apologizing or some shit that I expected her to do while I threatened her she just bounced towards a new shirt and squealed in excitement and exclaimed '' ah Edward! This is the perfect shirt for that perfect skirt! I will totally own him by the next time we meet! I bet he ll be undressing me with those fucking beautiful eyes of his!''

''Too much info Alice. Like I said you are trying to seduce one of my friends but please spare me all the fucking details. And I swear to fucking god Alice you say one more word about how you fucking seduced him and then made him all frustrated by acting indifferent I will fucking puke in all these precious bags of yours.'' i threatened her in a low a fierce growl.

Holly. Shit. Eating. Fuck.

The look on her face fucking screamed that I had just crossed the line.

'' Edward now shut the hell up and listen to me you ass!'' she screeched. '' I have been trying to distract your mind and you are just coming out like nobody's business and insulting my precious clothes! I will definitely not have that!'' she said in a furious voice. ''And let me answer your other threats, you want to leave than leave, I bet there'll be a lot others who will happily oblige to my request and they will even fuck me and tell me how fuckable I look.'' she said in a calm and low voice and resumed inspecting other clothes.

I clenched my teeth and clenched my hands into fists so tightly that you could fucking see the bones through my skin.

She knew she was fucking right!

If I was going to still accompany her no matter what, doesn't mean I have to enjoy the whole thing. I decided to answer her inquiries with just the occasional 'hmmms' and that's it.

I know I was being hard on the poor kid, she was doing all this for me, but I still didn't ask her to drag my fucking ass in a mall. a mall would be the last place I would want to go and even then I was standing in one of the malls right now.

Technically speaking I am actually the one who is adopted not Alice. I was fucking ten when my great aunt and uncle, whom I now call mom and dad, adopted me, actually that was when they signed the official papers, and they were already taking care of me since I was born. So of course they are even more fucking close to me than my real fucking parents.

My fucking mom and dada were killed in a car accident, not any fucking car accident, but a fucking drunk car accident and also managed to take a pedestrian with them. I sneered the last thought in my head.

To actually look at every thing, like really look at every thing, you will know that i was not ever close to them. In fact I only mourned for a day for the loss of my parents and was very happy when I came to know that I'll be living with my favorite aunt and uncle.

Only they and of course Alice knows how the thought of my parents disturbs me.

And since my dad and my foster dad were partners in a business, half of the business's responsibility automatically was mine but Carlisle handled it himself very efficiently all of those fucking years. And now i am twenty fucking five and Carlisle has been constantly annoying me to climb up the ladder and be his partner in crime since I turned twenty.

I have been giving him excuses like I am not responsible enough or I am not mature enough or I just want to have fun but I know it isn't working one day or the other I would have to take that step no matter what. I owe Carlisle just too much, hell I owe the whole lot of them a lot. I had a sneaking fucking feeling that the day isn't far away.

I am starting repay Carlisle by doing him favor that he had asked me, even though it was the last thing I expected from him, because this favor will just tangle up my whole life in to a desperate jumble of threads. But what the fuck, I'll do it if it means I am repaying Carlisle in any fucking way.

But that still didn't mean I didn't throw a fucking tantrum.

Alice noticed the thoughtful and remorse expression on my face and swiftly understood what i might have been thinking of.

That's just how we both are; we understood each other really well. We didn't need words to know what the other was going through.

And that is one more thing that I have to repay her for.

Alice swiftly stood up on her toes, even then she was no where close to my face, understanding what she wanted to do I ducked my head down, she kissed my cheek softly and said, '' Edward don't worry every thing will be okay, in fact, it'll be just great and you know I am always right. If I didn't know that do you think I would have let mom and dad do what they are doing?'' she comforted me not really seeking an answer for the question.

That is one more thing. Alice is never in a million years wrong.

Alice turned around and started going around the store with me following behind her with already my hands full of her fucking shopping bags.

After about two more torturous hour of shopping and me commenting or literally sulking she actually me a break.

''Edward if you are really tired you can wait out here for me while I shop inside because i just know I am going to take long.'' Alice said with a wicked grin and excitement in her eyes.

I instantly got suspicious she was definitely on something, but i was just feeling very exhausted so I let it drop.

''Sure Alice. I'll be waiting here.'' I said.

She bounced inside the store with her purse in the other hand.

I sighed in relief and walked across the shop to sit on a bench.

Oof. My knees cranked when I sat. Shit. That was a relief. I didn't know my legs were so damn tired.

i had hardly sat for ten minutes in tranquility when my fucking sister messaged me. I internally groaned. i knew she must be calling me inside.

I slowly took out my black berry and opened the message. My eyes practically fell out and my breathing picked up when I read her message.

_**Alice: i ll b shoppin wid angella one of bella's frnd n bella doesnt wanna shop wid us cuz she is tired so i sent her out to u. U both can stay 2gether while we shop bye. 3 u. **_

I hated her so much in that second. She knew we both could never talk like two adults, fuck adults we can't even look at each other with out sneering.

I hate fucking Isabella Marie swan.

I hate her even more because I don't have a rational reason to fucking hate her.

I hate her even more and more because she is the only bitch whom i have lusted after for so fucking long even when I didn't want to. Usually it is very easy for me once i find attractive either i fuck her or I don't and move on.

But this girl was fucking different and I hate here even more and more and more because of it.

And the worst part is she doesn't even find me a fucking bit attractive.

She gives the impression of fucking forbidden fruit and I want to fucking eat her up just because of that. She just looks so fucking fuckable and has this aura around her of innocence and prohibition that i just want to corrupt it.

Though i know there is no way she is sill a virgin, oh hell she herself has told me she is not.

I wanted her to be a fucking virgin because i wanted to be the one to corrupt her, to pop that delicious cherry of hers.

_**Edward: sure Alice**_**. **

I messaged Alice back. Any way I wasn't in the mood to bicker with her. I would just ignore her.

The odd thing about her was that I oddly respected her and that one emotion that I never feel for bitches' well of course except for mom and Alice.

I sat there looking at the exit of the shop where Alice said she will come from.

After actually waiting for fucking fifteen minutes I figured out she might have sneaked out from some other exit after she hated me exactly the same way as me actually she hated me a lot more than I did.

Just as I was about message Alice she came out.

My breath hitched just looking at her. And Mr. Edward Jr came at its full attention. I groaned. Just fucking great why can't she just sneak away.

She was looking at her feet very intently as if trying to figure out something. She took a deep breath and pulled her up and looked around with a frown, probably looking for me. Actually I had a lot of fun annoying me. Her anger just turned me on even more...

Uggh. That made Mr. Edward even more attentive.

She didn't see me and a triumphant smile broke across her face, she took out her cell phone and she started texting someone probably Alice.

I just wanted to annoy her even if it was the last time.

I got up picked up all the bags and walked towards her. She didn't see me so I cleared my throat to gain her attention. Normally I would have said 'it fucking stink in here, must be the piece of shit standing front of me' while in fact I would be think to drink he in just by smelling her because she smells so fucking good.

That seemed to gain her attention she slowly looked at me through her lashes and that made my breath hitch and of course my erection was straining against my jeans.

I adjusted my jeans as stealthily as I can manage.

She looked really shocked at seeing me.

She was looking just so beautiful in those clothes. Her blue shirt looked like water against her snow white skin and her skinny jeans practically showed me the shape of her fucking legs. Her full lips were glossy pink… delicious. I wanted to know if she tastes like the way she smells. Just delicious.

She was a fucking forbidden strawberry for me. That was just fucking inviting me to take a bite.

We kind of stood there staring at each other. I was bracing myself for the comments that will hit me with full force.

But oddly it never came.

We stood there staring each other like fucking idiots for like another ten minutes at the least.

She broke the silence and our fucking staring, well not fucking staring, but you get what I mean. I was so fucking surprised that she didn't say any thing like ' what pervert' or 'fuck off asshole' or even 'stop looking at me bitch face', but instead of all of that she said, "ummm… hi I thought you went away."

That shocked the hell out of me.

I explained what I was doing or rather where I was because I really can't tell her that I was lusting after her and hating her at the same time.

I don't what shocked her and I kind of started to panic, maybe I haven't thought the last part in my head, maybe I have said that out loud. But I was so damn sure that I haven't, because I am always so careful of what I do and say, whatever I do is never without purpose or an accident. But I am not so entirely sure right now because since the first time I have laid my eyes on her everything seems to fuck up. I have to control my self a lot and even then I just fuck up.

Suddenly a look of remorse, regret and sorrow crossed her face; she swiftly looked down at her feet and replied.

I was just confused by her actions. I mean, come on, first she looks at me like I have done or said something that was so fucking wrong then she looks all repentant and as if she knows she is going to die in a matter of hours.

The look on her face made my heart twist in a very painful way.

We made our way to my car in comfortable silence all the while she just stared intently at her feet.

I kept stealing glances at her and she just looked very vulnerable as if she will just break down. I was really worried about her and wanted to know what was so fucking bothering her so that I could go and fix it up for her and see that easy smile back on her fucking lips.

i saw her smile and shake her head slightly as if to say 'some things never change' when we reached our car. I didn't know what caused that action but I was happy none the less to see her smile back.

We put the shopping bags in my trunk and I asked what she wanted to eat. We made our way back to the food court and ordered our food. We were about to have an argument about who pays the bill in front of the fucking cashier who was fucking ogling her and I wanted to fucking punch the guy in his face, stretch his jaw apart and break it.

I, of course, wanted to give an impression that Bella was taken and also wanted to make a point to her leaned in closer towards her and said in a low voice, "So? I don't let any girl pay for food when I am with them, so now you keep quite and don't make scene there is along queue of people waiting behind us to order their food and I don't really want get beaten by all of them." That was a lie. I actually never paid for a bitch, only, except for my mom and Alice. But like I said my Bella was different.

My Bella.

Come the fuck on.

What the hell is happening to me?

I should straighten my thoughts. I am going to get married soon.

My comment made her to shut up. I stood straight and gave my credit card to the cashier and glared at him.

The odd thing was Bella never took notice of the looks he was giving her or the fact that he was fucking undressing her with is eyes, that made me want to kiss her right there and then.

I walked us to a table and sat there in comfortable silence both in deep thought.

I thought about what ever has happened in the last few weeks.

After a few minutes a got up and brought our food back, but not before giving the cashier a furious gaze and whispering in a low threatening growl, "you ever look at my girl like that I will squeeze your eyeballs out and rip your jaw apart and I am not just saying that." that made his eyes pop out with terror and gulp down his saliva.

I made my way back to our table and placed the tray down.

We both sat in silence and ate our burgers.

My mind drifted back to the events that had turned my world upside down.

Carlisle and Esme have been acting really frustrated and anxious, like they were walking on shreds of glasses around me or as if they were waiting for the ticking bomb to explode. And I think that fucking ticking bomb some how me, but that idea just kept nagging me, why the hell will I explode? Okay I agree, my temper is fucking a lot. But what would tick me off was just fucking out of my mind. Alice's usual cheeriness was all but gone. If Alice is ever, not bouncing about something, or nothing in particular, that can possibly only mean one thing and that is, a huge fucking tornado was on its way, and the atmosphere in the house was just like the fucking strong winds that blows before the real tornado actually comes.

I was really pissed at every one. And wanted to release my fucking anger.

I called up my best buds, jasper and Emmett, to go out with me. Even they had sensed all the fucking vibes coming from them. Sheesh

All of us met at a restaurant and went in to grab some thing to eat.

All the waitresses kept checking us out. Emmett obviously knew, even if he checked any bitch out, Rosalie will claw his eyes out and rip his balls off.

And jasper was hung up on Alice, and that fucking bastard had made me promise to not even accidently mention this to any one and if I do he will spill some of my damn secrets. We both knew I would not give a damn to those entire secret shit. I maybe a womanizer, heart breaker, pervert but never a promise breaker. He knew his secret was pretty much very safe with me. But he is just a fucking idiot like that.

My fucking sister had also made me do the same thing. They both are just pieces of shit, if they would only let me tell them they fucking already share their feelings, they could save each other such fucking seducing and charming the other shit.

Jasper doesn't have eyes for any one else except for Alice. And in a way I was fucking glad about it. Because there was no fucking chance in hell or even heaven that I will let him fuck with my fucking baby sis, even if she is just five years younger than me.

So that just left me to ogle every bitch's tits.

And that is exactly what I did.

Hey, who was I to push away willing tits and pussy.

I, of course, got bored with the show and wanted some action. And our waitress just seemed really very horny.

I bid Emmett and jasper bye. They knew what I'll be doing next, just rolled their eyes and smirked at me. Usually they would get really disappointed and give me really stern looks but they knew not to fuck with me now, as it is, I was already very pissed.

And it definitely wasn't my fault I was just panties dropping sexy.

They knew I wasn't ever going to change, well, except for Alice. She thought, or more specifically, believed, I will change one day. Like totally alternate from a womanizer to a bitch's puppy.

That scared the shit out of me, because Alice was always right.

But then again she is only human. She can't always be right.

The waitress was looking at me from the counter and was leaning on it, flashing me and every one else her tits and the tattooed rose on her right boob.

I smirked at her and moved my index finger back and forth, silently telling her to follow me. I got up and walked out of the restaurant knowing fucking well she was following me.

I didn't even glance back once and just kept walking until we reached a dark ally. I stopped abruptly, making her bump into me.

She groped my ass and tried to say in a sexy voice which amusedly sounded as if some one was strangling a cat. '' Hey handsome. You look very eager to fuck me. I know I am just irresistible.''

I laughed out loud at that absurd comment.

But I couldn't of course. The bitch took it as an invitation and started grabbing on my erection.

I roughly pushed her against the wall; I didn't have time for all the stupid tease games she wanted to play.

I swiftly turned around and pushed her against the wall. I ripped opened her fucking uniform-barely-there-dress and pushed her panty down and surely her panties were dripping wet. I smirked and said, ''looks like you are the one who wants me and are a too little over eager bitch.'' I finished in a husky voice.

She swiftly unbuttoned my jeans and pushed both my boxers and jeans down in one quick move. Fuck, I realized this bitch wasn't going to be any where tight; she just was fucked a lot.

Any way I just plunged into her and caught her off guard. She wanted to waste time with kissing and shit where as I just wanted a quick fuck and release all my tension. She screamed in pleasure at the contact. Fuck, every bitch only screamed in ecstasy, I was starting to lose faith in finding a moaner. My buds and I had a bet to find a moaner and till now none of us had crossed a path of one.

More like I haven't found one yet since Emmett and jasper aren't even fucking anyone else and jasper isn't fucking any one at all.

I started thrusting in and out of her in swift and rough movements. And fuck, she was just not tight.

The bitch was hot and surely did know how to get fucked but was still not the best. I just wanted a release, and as fast as possible, I started thrusting in and out of her faster and pinched her nipple to make her cum first. I had a silent rule to never come before the girl that will just mean that I was too easy.

She started kissing my neck and I was thoroughly repulsed by the action.

I pinched her nipple harder and with the other hand pinched her clit. She threw her head back swiftly and hit her head pretty hard, I smirked at that. Her walls started clenching on me and she screamed loudly and came undone.

I had a difficult time in coming while she had already ridden through her daze filled orgasm. I pinched her nipples and rubbed her clit and in response she screamed and moved violently against me.

At last, at last, I felt the pressure building in my belly. I clutched her hair and immediately regretted my action. Her hair was so greasy; it felt as if she hadn't taken a shower since a very long time. I groaned both in disgust and pleasure while I rode through my orgasm and she heaved beneath me.

As soon as I was done I swiftly pulled my cock out of her damn lose pussy and pulled my boxers and jeans up in another swift movement and buttoned them up. She just kept heaving against the wall. See I am a really good fucker like that, bitches at least take thirty minutes to regain themselves. I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, ''I didn't enjoy a single moment you are just too used bitch.'' and with that i walked away towards my car.

I drove up to Carlisle's house. Alice had come from Europe for god only knows what reason. Actually I think she has already finished her studies but she wanted to stay there for a while, and her move to suddenly fly to New York was fucking alarming. She only fucking tells me she was just missing us, but I didn't believe her for a split second. i ignored her any way, if she wanted to tell me any thing she will do it herself.

I parked my car in the garage and went inside. Carlisle, Esme and Alice were sitting on a couch deep in intense conversation.

I plopped down next to Alice on a couch. As soon as they saw me, all of them shut their mouths up and that pissed the hell out of me. I raised my eyebrows at them and said, '' Will you guys just tell me already what the fuck is wrong, because i cant stand all these vibes that you all pass.'' I finished in a really pissed voice.

Carlisle took a deep breath and said, ''Edward you have to calm down for this conversation.'' that pissed me off even more but none the less i took a deep breath to calm myself.

''Son, one of the friends of mine is in a really difficult situation and he has done a lot for me over the past. He has asked me to do him a big favor, which involves you.'' that didn't sound like a big deal to me; I relaxed immensely after hearing that.

''That is not such a big deal, its just a damn favor. You all were acting as if some one was going to die.'' I said in a mocking tone.

Carlisle shook his head in regret and said, ''son, you don't know what the favor is other wise you wouldn't be mocking me.''

''Well then tell Me.'' I replied in a pissed voice. Carlisle looked at me cautiously as if to gauge each and every action of mine and said in a low careful voice, '' he wants you to marry her daughter and I can't say no to him.''

''what?!'' I sat up straight; clearly I must have heard him wrong.

'' Son, you heard me. You have to marry her daughter. If I had a choice I would have chosen his daughter for you. I have always liked her even your mom and sister do.'' Carlisle tried to explain, but my mind couldn't register much. Only the words 'you have to marry his daughter' were ringing in my head.

I sat silent there looking at him like he had grown a pair of his head while esme and Alice eyed me cautiously.

The idea of marriage was far from my mind. I know I am twenty five but who the hell will I marry, that problem was pretty much solved because of Carlisle. But when he says his friend, he means all his business friends, and I have fucked each and every daughter of those friends, I haven't even liked any bitch for more than five minutes, hell I have only lusted after them not liked them. And aren't I suppose to love a bitch to marry one??

That thought snapped me out of my thoughts.

'' What the fuck do you mean I have to marry her? Isn't it suppose to be my choice or some shit. You can't just force me to marry a bitch. Hell, aren't I suppose to love a bitch before I marry one.'' I said in a really pissed and furious voice.

''Edward language.'' chided Esme, but I couldn't care less about that shit at the moment.

''do you think we could even hold the marriage together for even a month, because i have met all those bitches, and believe me none of them are marriage material, sure they are fuck material but never marriage.'' I stood up while ranting in a high a voice.

''Edward you have clearly not met the girl I am talking about, because she is none of the things that you have just said'' after a second thought Carlisle added ''except for one of course.''

''I don't give a fuck to what you say because there is no way that I'll be marrying her or any bitch for that matter.'' I screamed.

''You have clearly not met the girl I am talking about or maybe you just don't remember her in your fit of anger.'' Carlisle replied in a calm voice. That angered me even more, how the fuck can he be all calm and shit while uprooting my whole fucking life.

''Don't you want to know who the girl is?'' Alice piped in.

''no I don't wanna know, because like I said I won't be marrying her.''  
I turned around and replied in bitter tone, ''I have met every bitch and i know them better than you do dad.'' I stomped up to my room and banged the door lock.

I paced in my room steaming like a boiling kettle. I could not believe that even Alice didn't warn me about this shit. After about an hour or so of my pacing and anger, i heard the door knock softly. ''Get the fuck away'' I howled.

''Edward please open the door. I need to explain some thing. I bet it will clear your mind a bit. And any way if you don't open up the door I already have the key to your room.'' Alice replied from the other side of the door.

I sighed heavily and walked to the door, Alice will always be Alice she has ways to get what she wants. I opened the door, let her in and walked to the bed to sit.

She closed the door behind her and walked to where i was sitting and sat in front of me. Both of our knees facing and touching each other. We both sat there looking at each other, lost in our own thoughts for some fucking time.

''Edward, do you want to know why I didn't interfere or more likely go against dad down there?" Alice began not really expecting an answer. ''I know Edward its going to be alright, in fact its going to be more than alright, its going to be fantastic. I have this feeling that you are going to be very happy.'' I started to interject but she begun before me ''no Edward, you know better than to disagree with me, right? Edward i know its going to be hard to except but not impossible. I also know you don't want to know the name of the girl, but let me just tell you, neither is she happy with the situation that her father has gotten her into, but do you know why she accepted this whole marrying shit because she loves her parents and she is a selfless person like that. I know this because I am a friend of hers and even if she hasn't spoken these words to me herself I'll still know what she is thinking --- she took a deep breath --- its a bigger sacrifice for her than it is for you because she had this totally different ideal situation in that pretty head of hers and it definitely wasn't this, believe me. And the weird part is even she doesn't want to know who her husband is going to be and she has threatened her parents that she will never be happy in her life for obvious reasons'' she finished with sad eyes and a little shake of her head.

''But you said she is a self less person.'' I replied, my attention picked at what she said about the girl.

''Yes she is, but she likes to threaten those she love.'' she answered with a little laugh. ''Just like you.'' she added.

''I'll leave you to your own thoughts.'' she kissed me on my forehead and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

I started to understand and realize that Carlisle was right; I definitely haven't met this girl. Because every bitch I met was always full of herself and not self less. That girl has already gained my respect, considering she was sacrificing her dreams and marriage was far from my fucking dreams.

And any way, I found a way to repay Carlisle for all his generosity and love.

I will get married.

I went back down stairs and sure enough every one was sitting in their exact same places. Alice looked up at me and smiled, she knew why i was here.

''Dad I'll marry your friend's daughter. But i have a condition which isn't so hard to follow. I don't wanna know her name or anything that will indicate who she is.'' Carlisle looked relieved. Of course I'll always be who i am, added '' and of course I am not happy with this nor will I ever be. If she turns out to be a bitch against all your better judgment, i have no doubt in the fact that she already is one, i will of course, blame you all.'' i turned around and saw that Alice was smiling and shaking her head from side to side, i gave her tight lipped smile and went back in my room.

* * *

I looked up and noticed the somber expression on Bella's face. Normally I would have enjoyed her discomfort and sorrow... Hell what am I saying, her sorrow would have bothered me even then, but the difference is I haven't seen her so sad before. Sure I have seen her crying over small things, (believe me this girl is very emotional), she would get all teary eyed if some one told her the ending of the most amazing novel she might be reading, you would expect her to not read the novel after that but nothing in the world could stop her once she had started something. Even then I haven't seen her so... Sad.

Something really life altering must have happened.

I wanted to know what had caused her so much disturbance. I preferred her rude and snide comments over this somber silence and timid looks.

I wanted to fix what was bothering her.

I wanted to just fucking banish it from this earth.

I raked my brain to find a way for her to open up to me.

Twenty fucking one questions! Yup that will definitely do. I won't look too privy nor will I come out as an idiot.

I cleared my throat to gain her attention. I desperately wanted to call her by her name, in fact I have always wanted to call her by her name, but then it would have ruined my 'asshole charade', and suddenly acknowledging her like the way I have always wanted to, or just quarter of the way I have wanted to might trigger her inner 'respectable bitch' out.

She looked up and met my eyes. I asked her if she wanted to play a game with me and she agreed rather enthusiastically, may I add, I didn't expect this kind of reaction.

The idea that I didn't even know her favorite color shocked the hell out of me. In all these years we didn't even have a one word polite conversation so I shouldn't have been so surprised, but need less to say I still was.

"Honestly I don't really know maybe green… or anything that I really like on the particular day." She replied with a shrug and a blush.

Honestly, I found green to a very boring color. But then the way she added the 'depends on my mood' actually screams there might be a history behind that color.

"So you like blue today?" I asked while cocking an eyebrow. I found it a bit of amusing to have a history behind a fucking color.

She huffed a little and crossed her arms over her chest and had that stubborn look on her face.

"No, I am wearing blue for totally different reason. And you just asked me your second question." she replied smiling wickedly. The smile gave her a devilish look.

"So, what's your favorite color? She asked

"Blue." My answer even surprised me. Blue was definitely not my favorite color until a few hours ago. I quickly got distracted and asked "So why are you wearing blue today if it's not your favorite color?"

This led her to ramble about her friend, colleagues and the complements she got in this particular shirt.

My eyes clouded with lust as I gazed down at her shirt and collar bones. Fuck, those collar bones were really fucking taunting me to touch them. Thank fucking lord she didn't catch me eyeing her skin or other wise she would have brought her inner bitch out, and I was enjoying way too fucking much, this new discovered sweet Bella (well, she was always polite and sweet but that politeness and sweetness was just not directed towards me. And I wanted to take full advantage and savor it, till I am on the receiving end.) So much more than it is healthy for me and I fucking hate her for doing this to me.

With out thinking I blurted ''I think they were right about that.''

She seemed confused by my out burst and asked ''About what?''

I realized I couldn't go back on my words. Once I have started a thought might as well finish it. And anyway, she was looking outrageously beautiful; she deserved a compliment for her efforts. Though, from what she described, she didn't put forth much effort at all and that resulted her to look so stunning. Just the thought that if she actually wanted to look really extravagant for some occasion and she actually, kind of, put some effort, she would just look...

Mouth watering? No she already looks that.

Sexy? Yes, maybe in her own innocent way.

Cute? Okay, Cullen doesn't use such words, though when you come to think about it her nose is kind of cute.

Dazzling? Yup, pretty much think so. But the word still isn't satisfying my fucking mind.

Exquisite? Yeah! That's it! She will definitely look fucking exquisite.

I hated her so fucking much for doing this to me. For making me lust after her.

''That it looks good on you.'' and I can't wait to put my mouth on you - I wanted to add.

I hate her!

That made her fucking blush. I just couldn't help myself, I loved the way the blood slowly spreads around her cheeks and colors her skin while gradually grows darker by every minute. So I just sat there staring at the most edible sight in front of me that I couldn't have for any thing in this fucking world.

Yup, she definitely is a forbidden fucking, juicy, fruit.

And I utterly despise her!

I realized she wasn't used to getting compliments.

She looked up and reminded me it was my turn to ask her a question. I asked her what she liked to do when she is free but quickly changed my mind as I already knew the fucking answer to that.

She looked shocked. It shouldn't have been such a big surprise as every fucking guy knew not to flirt with as she would not notice, but that still didn't mean they didn't try. And their attempts were fucking fruitless.

She asked me the same question in return but then quickly asked not to answer it as she already knows the answer.

"Really and what will that be?" I asked in an amused tone. There was no way that she would know what I actually liked to do in my spare time.

"Flirting, seducing, making out and how can I forget fucking bitches." She replied with grimace.

I was highly amused by her reply. "Now why do you say that? Not that it's partly true." I replied chuckling softly.

"Becauuuse, I have always seen you doing one of these things in every party." she grimaced while answering me.

"Now I don't think you would have seen me fucking anyone." I stated getting highly amused by her answers.

"Oh I have seen you doing each of these things." She scoffed.

Fuck… there was nothing more embarrassing than getting caught having sex. I wouldn't have actually minded but this was Bella. I fucking knew she would tease me to no end.

"ummm… now that is… umm… not good… when did you see me doing that?" I stammered uncomfortably and embarrassing myself further I looked down at my empty coke glass to avoid her gaze and ran a hand through my hair.

She started out with a small chuckle which turned into a giggle and that turned into a full laugh.

I glared at her. I was fucking getting embarrassed and she was sitting and laughing her ass off.

"Oh sor-r-ry about tha-that." she replied between chuckles.

"Okay, stop glaring at me. You aren't scarring me; in fact it's even more amusing." she said while giggling.

That was a first. No other girl ever said 'I wasn't scaring her' when my glare was directed at them. I waited for her to control herself and explain.

"Umm, it was only a one time thing I saw you fucking a girl in the washroom. In my defense I will say I had drank a lot of punch and that was the only washroom that I thought was vacant. But then I found out it wasn't, but only because of other reasons."

She grimaced probably recalling the memory.

I fucking remember that. I was so pissed at Bella and was taking my fucking anger out on Tanya.

She was completely ignoring me in that particular party and that pissed me to no end, so I grabbed Tanya by her ass her dragged her up to the washroom

In the middle of her 'orgasm-ing' I heard a door slam, I turned my head towards it but saw no one so carried on doing what was already occupying me.

I ran a hand through my hair and replied said "I thought I heard someone shutting the door."

It turns out I wasn't completely ignored after all.

She chuckled again, and said "You have asked so many questions that I have lost count."

"Okay so how about one more question?" I asked. I might as well ask what was, and probably still is bothering her now before it gets too late

.

"You asked me a question to ask me another question." she stated. "One more question won't hurt." I said.

I chuckled, she seriously did look a lot better when she was all giddy, and that again was probably because she made me damn uncomfortable.

"You looked… sad when I met you today… in front of the shop, and until recently." I said getting serious.

Her smile fell, and I hated myself for doing that, but it still didn't mean I didn't want to know the answer.

She nodded at my observation.

"Why?" I asked.

"You know I can ask you the same question." she said

Looks like I wasn't the only one who was paying attention.

"I guess you can. But I asked you the question first." I said.

"Yes you did." she sighed and shifted her eyes to her and looked really fucking sad.

"lets just say what ever my principles and beliefs of my life were, just exist in some shitty fairy tales not in real life, and even if I have a choice to stop them from getting crushed I cant, because if I do I will not be able to live with my self." she replied in teary voice.

Her words were very cryptic and I fucking wanted to figure out what it all meant.

"And why were you sad?" she asked, a little eager to know my problem.

I sighed and started fidgeting with my fingers, clasping and unclasping them on the table and deciding what to tell her about my problem. I finally decided to follow her and answer as cryptically as possible.

"I have found myself in a very compromising situation." I looked up and met her gaze. I ran a hand through my hair and said, "My explanation is a lot like you except for the fairy tale shit." I said in small voice.

It was kind of weird how we both oddly sounded as if we were in the same situation. And even weirder was we both understood how the other person was feeling.

After some time my cell went off.

I cursed and picked it up.

"What Alice?" I said in a bored and annoyed tone. When the both of us actually, were getting on terms, she had to force her ass into things.

"Did you run away and left Bella. I swear Edward if you did, I will cut you into pieces." Alice screeched.

"No I didn't. I am in the food court with Bella." I replied.

"Ooooooooo…. that's good, I just hope you both haven't pulled each others hair out. Tell Bella, Angela went back and I want to go home so can you get your ass down." She said in a giddy voice.

"Okay come to the parking lot, I will be there." I replied.

I put the cell back and told Bella I had to go because of fucking Alice and asked her if she needed a ride. She said she already had a car and it even surprised me that we have been talking for so late.

Time really passes by when you are having fun.

We both rose up from our seats.

"Bye Edward and tell Alice to call me anytime she wants I am sure she has taken my number from Angela." She said.

"Bye Bella." I replied. Finally, happy that I could call her by what I always wanted to.

* * *

I went into the parking lot where Alice was waiting by the car practically bouncing with excitement.

We both sat inside and started the engine of my baby. I reversed the car out of my parking lot and started towards the Cullen mansion.

"Alice what's up with you?" finally asking her. Her smile was very infectious and I was on the verge of smiling myself and I didn't want to do that.

"nuh-thin" she replied shaking her head from side to side while her smile grew even wider.

I didn't question her more, I knew her really well, and she wouldn't tell me any thing in such a mood.

"Alice I know you are up to no good and I'll fucking figure it out soon." I told her.

"Yup, you will." She sang.

Yup, she has lost her mind.

I wanted to meet Bella once more just like this before my life gets complicated, even though its wrong of me to lust after some one else when I am getting fucking married real soon, but I just cant help myself when it comes to Bella.

I just hope the girl I am going to marry isn't fucking bitch.

* * *

Authors note: sorry for the late update. I know its a very fucking long chapter but I just couldn't help myself. And I am begging you all again please review even a sweet smiley face would be a lot for me. See that's how much desperate I am, give a girl some break!


	4. Chapter 4

**disclaimer: all the characters and what so ever are originaly owned by Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 3**

**Diary Entry:**

"_**I have heard that every thing happens for a reason and I hope this might be one those times."**_

**Bella POV**

It was Saturday. Approximately a week after my little encounter with that little devious pixie, Alice and her gorgeous hunk of a brother, Edward, yes gorgeous, I have never denied that he is exceptionally beautiful, but that doesn't mean he needs my praise to stroke his ego and his womanizing and man whore-ish ways.

I hated the world. Hated it. Hated it.

I think the world held a grudge against me. If I was just a bit, tiny bit, attracted to some guy who actually EXISTED, had to be a member of the club 'assholes'. And in fact he just wasn't any member, but was probably, no scratch that, is the leader of the said club!

Not that I am saying I have crushed on any living guy a lot. But just look at my luck, will you. When I do crush on some one, it had to be Edward. Looks like the joke was on me, and it wasn't even funny!

After I got home with my really strange encounter with Edward, I got a message from Alice asking if I would like to go to a club with them.

I didn't mind the idea a lot. And since I will not be getting much freedom once I marry that piece of shit. And I had also decided to enjoy myself as much as I can in the next two weeks, as it is I had already lost two weeks drowning in self pity and 'what ifs', So I agreed.

A tiny part of me also wanted to check if Edward would act the same way he had the other day. If he didn't I would write it down as Edward had hit his head, hard, and had lost his mind. And if he is the same, than I will try to find the meanings behind his words. If he will be there at all, of course…

Though it was hard to doubt his words because he spoke them with such honesty and intensity. He had a spark in his eyes which warned me not to doubt his sincerety. Not just that, he looked truly depressed. I felt as if I could sympathize with him. And that, I did.

So that is how I am stuck inside my huge closet, which was stocked and restocked, always by the personal shopper Renee had hired for me.

The one good thing about my enormous closet was the fact that they were all 'Bella approved' as Renee will put it.

I went through all the different racks in my gigantic closet but couldn't find an appropriate outfit for tonight. the ones which I thought might have a chance for tonight either seemed too dressy, too casual or too simple.

I gave up after ten minutes and decided to take a shower before picking out my outfit for tonight and checking the other twenty racks that I have never even glanced at before.

I came out of my steaming hot shower, wrapped myself in my favorite black, soft robe and started thinking about my next plan of action.

I walked in front of my vanity and blow dried my hair. After I was finished, I turned around to inspect my hair. They looked extremely straight because of my thorough blow drying, though I was satisfied with the volume of my hair but I sure was not happy with the texture of it.

I was not sure why I was inspecting myself so critically this evening; I reasoned with myself that I just wanted to get dressed tonight after such a long time. Though, even that didn't sound good enough to me….

I took out my curling iron and plugged it in. once it was hot enough for my liking, I began the long and tiresome procedure of curling my hair.

After about fifteen minutes I inspected myself once more in the mirror, once I figured I was satisfied with the result, I put the things back where I picked them from and then walked back into the closet.

I made a beeline for the racks which I haven't checked for tonight in the closet I finally settled on a dress and put it on. Next I decide on a pair of silver heels. They weren't too high since I knew the disease I have been suffering from since my first baby steps, clumsiness.

The heels had circle shaped diamonds embedded in a straight line, which covered the middle of my feet.

I walked back to my vanity and inspected my self…. Again.

I had to admit my legs looked amazing; they seemed as if they could go on for ever.

I had a midnight blue, strapless dress on. It was fitted on my chest but was a wee bit lose from below, not anything like a balloon dress, it actually showed the curves in the right places, but wasn't too tight to not let my skin breath.

Just the way I liked it…

The dress had a sweet heart neckline with silver-white sequins on it and the sides, giving it a bit elegant but sexy look. Two adjectives that never followed my name.

The dress rested on my mid thigh, not exposing a lot, but exposing enough to make me look hot.

Yes, this is the first time I have ever used these words with me. But the dress and the heels truly made me look hot.

Exactly the look I was looking for…

Since my body kind of looked empty so I added a pair of dangly diamond earrings, and added a simple black and white sparkly bracelet on my right hand.

I added a light make up as not to look too fake. I put on a line a mascarra and mascara and a bit of lip gloss, just to highlight the color of my lips.

I don't want to sound like a stuck up bitch but the color of my lips were truly amazing...

Now that I was satisfied with the way I looked, I grabbed my white purse and went out of the room. Renee asked me on my way out where I was headed and I gave her a vague reply saying, "night out with friends." And closed the door behind me. I jumped into my car and drove to my destination.

I attached my I-pod with the dock and played one of my up-beat play lists to get myself in the clubbing and dancing mind frame.

Mind me; it isn't as if I am not a good dancer, at least a ball room dancer, I even received the first position in such dancing competition. It just so happened in another one of those Charlie's 'get-to-know' parties and also happened to be a ball room party. Later in the progressing night I got to know that it actually was a fund raiser.

I didn't mind such parties, but I sure as hell minded being lied to!

I wanted to stomp out of the room and go home but I couldn't for two reasons, first being that the party I was in was fortunately for a good cause and I was a sucker for helping anyone anywhere, this explained my volunteer works.

Second would be the fact that I had a bet with Edward to win the ball room dancing contest so that he could leave me alone and not embarrass me in any way in the next five parties that we both attend.

And since I had taken classes for such form of dancing and was also a die heart romantic person, I knew I would beat his gorgeous ass, not that I have seen it…

Unlucky for me, my date was stinking Mike Newton! Another son of my father's business associate. I used the word unlucky because the guy didn't even know the first letter of waltz; instead he was a nervous mess while acting to be cool.

It did nothing but grate on my nerves since I had to focus to dance the best I could, not that I doubted myself, but it was Edward Cullen we were talking about. Bear his smirks all night, while we danced and to top it all Mikes clumsy feet. It was the first thing I had discovered early in my lessons that I was not clumsy in dancing in such a way but had a sort of elegance.

Hard to believe, I know.

Edward and his blond partner… what was her name… yeah!

Jessica Stanley!

And Mike and I were the last people dancing and were in the final rounds. Luckily Jessica, being a slut that she was, tripped all over Edward and made him fall down with her on top. I thought she did it on purpose to gain his attention…

Though the scene was hilarious, but I didn't dare stop dancing but I sure as hell did laugh on the top of my lungs!

In a way Edward and I were not dancing together but dancing together, during the whole dance except when he tripped none of us dare take our eyes off each other. At the moment I thought it was something we did to try and intimidate each other to back of or some shit like that. But come to think about it was a very intense and intimate thing we both have experienced and maybe that was the reason why he fell, maybe because he was too focused on me.

I know it's a long wish, but I just couldn't or can't help my self…

I couldn't get his eyes out of my head for the next two weeks following the dance…

His scorching jade greens staring into my chocolate hues…

Mike and Jessica had discovered early in the dance that both their partners were not paying even an ounce of attention to them, though I still couldn't feel sad for them, they kind of deserved it…

I was so out of the world when the host declared, more specifically, I have won. Certainly not because of the dance but because of the bet.

So now here I was getting my self in the right frame of mind to dance all night long, as good as I might be in ball room dancing I was not so sure about some crazy hip hop kind of dance…

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

I hated weekends. I couldn't find a single parking space!

I have been circling the parking lot in search of a parking space for the last twenty minutes and to top it all Alice hadn't stopped calling me for the exact amount of time.

I went around the parking lot one last time in hopes of finding free space.

Right at the very end of the parking lot I saw a car backing out of the space. I looked to my left and saw another car coming towards the space I wanted.

Oh hell, no you don't! I thought.

I have spent around more than twenty minutes in search of a free parking space and I am not about to give it up for polite manners.

I stepped on the gas pedal and shot up on the lane, just in time to park my car in the desired space.

I know I did a bitchy move. But hey I had a very relevant reason!

I got out of the car, pressed the lock on my key pad and moved in the direction of the club's entrance. I heard a car's honk behind me but I totally ignored it. I may have done a bold and bitchy move out there but I definitely was not bold enough to confront the victim of my bitchy move head on.

Alice had suggested I meet her in Twilight, the 'it' club of the town. I walked up to the bouncer ignoring the long queue and showed him my id card. I had a special entry pass, since I was the daughter of a successful business man; I had some perks in life too…

I walked right inside of the club and was immediately assaulted with the smell of cigarettes and of course ear splitting music.

I was not a fan of cigarettes and my lungs completely agreed with me.

I started coughing. when I thought my lungs will fail because of the intense pressure and my throat will burn and bleed from the prickles taking residence in my throat, I tried to push my way out of the smoke induced area. I pushed someone in haste but fortunately whoever it was way passed drunk to even give a shit.

I took my cell phone out. Once I was calm enough I decided to text Alice and ask her where they were sitting.

_**Bella: hey I m here. Where r u guys seated?**_

Her reply was instant.

_**Alice: v r up n the v.i.p room. Cum on up I ll meet u up on da stairs. :]**_

I made my way upstairs and true to her promise, Alice was waiting for me.

She had opted for a gangster type look, but not entirely gangster type since she was only wearing the motorbike gloves.

Her dress was white with frills which reached below her ass and the upper part of her thighs. It was a one shoulder dress, a large black flower sequin rested on the top, middle of the dress's neckline where a black and white stripped strap reached around her back from her right shoulder.

Her gloves were very Alicy. They were black, had white metallic sequins arranged in a semi circular way on the upper side of her hand and had a silver metallic buckle to tie the glove around her hand. She had diamond studs in her ear which perfectly accented her attire.

She carried a rectangular black pouch in her left hand.

Her hair was styled in such a messy but sexy hair-do that you could actually see every hair pointing in different direction than the other.

She was tapping her foot and shaking her hips to the beat of the loud music.

I approached her quickly making sure I dont fall down and break my neck and legs in Typical Bella style.

As soon as Alice spotted me she gave a very excited squeal and hugged me hard, I was surprised at how strong she was considering her small body.

"Hey Alice" I said laughing. "We are going to have so much fun tonight!" she said screaming over the loud music and bouncing. I was afraid that her dress might just bounce right above her ass and give all the perverts who were eyeing us lustily. Seriously there looks were not at all praising or something that might boost my ego but it actually felt creepy and as if I was exposed to their hungry eyes.

I sucked it up and reminded myself why I dressed this way and the fact that I won't let some purvey shits ruin my night.

Alice grabbed my hand and started making her way towards what I hopped was our table for tonight. Fortunately the VIP room wasn't really crowded considering it was a Saturday night. "Bella you look hot! I didn't know you had it in yourself to emphasize your beauty, I was actually thinking to come and help you a bit, but I had a feeling not to." She said in my ear.

Alice was always like this. I didn't mind her comments because even I knew that I was not the best fashionista. That is just how Alice was and I loved her for it!

"yup, I know! I just felt like dressing up tonight." I said smiling at her.

Just than we reached the table where a girl in bright red fitted dress was making out with a very muscular guy. She was straddling his lap and what can I only assume from her movements was that they were dry humping while the guy with curly black hair was groaning.

The scene was actually very repulsive so I looked away and my eyes rested on Jasper who also had a disgusted look on his face, probably mirroring mine.

Our eyes met and I chuckled, he shook his head with a smile in response.

"hey bella, glad you could join us tonight." He drawled in a southern accent.

There was one thing that I loved about jasper more than his looks and his gentle manly manners and that was his accent. I mean who wouldn't, right?

"the pleasure is all mine." I said while taking a seat opposite to him and leaving two seats from the dry humping/making out couple. "Oh, I'll beg to differ." He replied, and I knew that our little debate will start. That's how our friendship was. and I loved the living shit out of him. In a brotherly way.

Though we never fought, not even in playfulness, unlike Edward and me… Once I had a debate with Edward about which drink is the best and in the end I felt like punching his nose and gouging his eyes out of his sockets!

Alice took a seat beside Jasper and threw a plastic cup at the blond girl's head. I thought I have seen her some where and that I might know her.

She grumbled and looked over her shoulder at Alice, "WHAT?" she sneered at her. Then it hit me why she looked familiar. She was the gorgeous Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale's baby sister. She was two years younger than him but had the most authority on him and every one else around her.

She sighed, stood up, got out of the guy's lap and that is when I had the full view of what she was wearing. She was wearing a blood red, halter dress which clung to her body in all the right places; it came up to the middle of her thigh. It looked as if the dress was made up of many strips. It rested low on her chest, but not exposing a lot of cleavage to make her look slutty.

She had a lot of bangles in one of her hands. Half of her hair was gathered up in a puff with her bangs coming out; the rest of her long blond hair was falling down her back in a sexy messy way.

She had the most deadly heels on. I don't think I would ever dare to wear such heels even if someone offered millions of dollars to me.

She sat on the seat next to the big muscular guy. My gaze traveled to him and I realized it was Emmett.

He met my gaze and gave me a huge grin showing his pearly white teeth. "Hey Ballerina! Glad you could make it." He boomed.

"Emmett!" I groaned and every one chuckled beside me. Ever since the charity ball, Emmett had opted to call me ballerina and I utterly despise it!

I realized how much I have missed my friends. I have been so caught up in my job that I didn't even have the time to call them. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I tend to get too immersed in it sometimes and stress over the huge responsibility that I often forget my own needs.

I have been working and helping Charlie in his business since the age of twenty. Considering I am twenty five now, it makes me a very efficient worker. Not my words Charlie's.

I didn't just land myself any job but had to work my Ass up the position of CEO. Thought it was not approved by Charlie, I think my decision taught so many things that I might not have been able to learn if I were being the daughter of the business owner rather than a normal colleague.

So here I am sitting with my friends and laughing at the joke Emmett has just cracked and marveling over all of their beauties. Just when my mind informed me that 'Mr. Mood whizzer' might not be here and a I was beginning to feel the emotion of disappointment, I heard his sweet-melodic voice.

''Am I supposed to be working as a waiter over here? I swear I am sick of bringing all of your drinks!'' he kept the drinks on the table and sat with a plonk on his chair next to me.

I don't he noticed me at all or maybe even if he did I think he chose to ignore me.

I had a sudden urge to cry my eyes out and I was so furious with myself for feeling an ounce for him that I just want to pour the drink all over him that he was currently drinking, - and his Adams apple was bobbing in a very mouthwatering way-, I fisted my hand as not to do any thing I might later regret and focused my attention on Alice.

I decided that if Mr. Asshole can choose to do such a thing than so can I and there is no way I hell I will let him ruin my precious time with my friends.

''hey Alice lets go dance.'' Edward sprayed the drink that he was gulping on the table and began to cough violently.

Out of concern I looked at him and saw that he has turned a deep shade of red.

I patted his back to calm him down and Jasper handed him water to gulp down what had clung to his throat while snickering.

Edward glared at him. '' Edward, you okay?'' I asked. He turned the full force of his glare on me.

I immediately coiled back from him, a minute later I was just down right pissed! I mean a girl is trying to help you and all you do is glare at her. Fucking Asshole.

I straightened my spine and asked Rosalie and Alice to join me on the dance floor and turned on my heels to walk back on the dance floor as calmly as I can.

I heard snickering behind and a groan a second later. I ignored as best as I could and went to the dance floor with my girls.

''Edward is so fucked.'' whispered Rosalie they both snickered. I had no idea what that was about and I didn't even bother asking because they would never utter a word.

I couldn't and wouldn't deal with Edward's damn mood swings! I was here to give myself a break before I was trapped in hell and have myself captivated in the assholes house forever. It isn't as if I would let him rule me and abuse me physically but there is one kind of abuse which I will not be able to save myself from.

No matter how much I despise having sex with that piece of shit, I would have to, not for myself but for Charlie and Renee.

We danced to the music laughing, joking and catching up to what we all were up to in the past years.

Rosalie was... Nice, not sweet exactly. The first time I met her, she actually intimidated me but so did Emmett. Later I found out he was just a gigantic pooh bear from inside. And Rosalie was just... Rosalie.

I poured my self in the music and danced with all I had. The music and lyrics were so fitting to what turmoil I was feeling inside. So instead of crying I focused on dancing.

A few, weird, horny assholes tried rubbing their dicks on me and it freaked the hell out of me but fortunately Rose subjected him to her fierce and cold glare. Seriously if I were on the receiving end of that glare I would have shrunk and died.

I felt eyes on me the entire time I was on the dance floor which made me kind of queasy. I left the dance floor when Jasper and Emmett came, because Rosalie and Emmett were practically feeling each other and not so subtly. Alice was busy flirting with Jasper and making him pant while she did r rated moves. The chemistry between the two of them was very thick and I did not want to get caught up between them.

I was wondering where Edward was and why he didn't join us on the dance floor, because it was and is very unlike him to not come up behind me and bug the crap out of me and flaunt his whore-ness in front of me. It bugged the crap out of me.

I made my way upstairs to the vip lounge. I had to give my heel clad feet a little rest. It was a miracle I didn't trip, very unlike me. I really had no idea where Edward was, but I just wished he wouldn't be in the lounge. I don't think I can handle his old attitude and might just burst out crying. I was sincerely believing that what ever he hinted o and said was true, not him being his asshole self! But look like he is a better actor than I am. I could NOT believe I actually confided in him, not entirely but still hinted a bit. He must have gone to his friends' later and made fun of me.

My brain rationalized and gave this explanation, but deep in my heart I just couldn't believe it. There was some kind of change within him that evening. And my heart was insisting that I go and confront him.

Thankfully our table was empty – that is what my brain thought, but I couldn't help being a little disappointed, my heart gave a little tug and constricted a little.

I was distracted by thoughts of Edward and didn't notice a little hole in the wooden floor and the next thing I knew I was flying towards the floor. I closed my eyes shut and braced myself for the fall.

But it never came. Instead I felt two strong arms pulling me up.

I opened my eyes and was met with the most beautiful color of green and hypnotic eyes and long black eyelashes.

I was stupefied. I couldn't form a word nor could I breathe. He was staring back at me intently. My hands were on his chest and his arms were around me. I noticed his heart beat quickened just as mine did. It felt as if we were in sync.

Then I heard him speak and the spell was broken or maybe intensified.

"Bella, you okay you look pale." He whispered and honestly looked concerned.

I noticed he did not take his arms from round me while he spoke. But I knew better to stay in his arms even though I was enveloped with the feeling of warmth, protection, security and something else that I knew not to feel in his presence…

I swiftly disentangled myself from his embrace while my heart wept in protest and my brain nodded in satisfaction and approval.

I saw him flinch a little when I made my face co operate in a cold face, "yes, I am fine. Thanks for um... Catching me." I said without looking him in the eyes and made my way towards the table and sat in the chair.

I was actually good at showing the opposite of what I feel inside if I wanted to my eyes are very expressive so I have to avoid eye contact at all cost if I want to lie to some one who might know me well. In fact it was Edward who pointed this out.

I heard him coming up behind me and sit across from me since I was suddenly very busy on my mobile.

I felt his eyes on me the entire time I was pretending to be messaging some one for ten minutes. He didn't say a word but I could feel his unwavering gaze on me, assessing me. I couldn't sit still when I knew he was watching me. I used my one and only technique of saving myself from getting emotionally hurt. I made my voice sound cold and detached and willed my eyes to co operate with me.

"It's rude to stare Edward." I pointed out to him in cold voice, I just hoped he believed it.

He tipped his head to one side and cocked his left eyebrow at me in questioning stare, and I knew he didn't believe my shit. I sighed in resignation and just chose to ignore him. After I had only two options: to cry or to ignore. The first was definitely very embarrassing so I with the latter.

I signaled for the waiter to bring me some shots, I just wanted to drown in my self pity.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked in a whisper. I really hated the fact that he was trying to get into my good backs like the way he had last time we saw each other.

"Why do you think so?" I answered him back with a question. I knew he hated that.

He sighed as is if he was really tired. "I am sorry for acting so weird before, you just caught me off guard." That was a first he hadn't really apologized to me verbally. He would text me, email me or send me a written note when he thought he had gone too far, but never had he apologized to me in this way.

If there was one thing I knew about Edward Cullen, it was he never apologized to any one except Carlisle and Esme. But I guess I was the only one exception to this rule apart from his family.

"What do you mean?" I asked already believing him. I knew he wouldn't lie to me when he was apologizing. "It's just that I didn't know you'd be here nor did any one tell me, so you can guess…" he trailed off.

I smiled a little at him and asked, "So you mean what cryptic message you gave me the other day wasn't an act?"

"No, definitely not. – he chucked and said – hey even you were cryptic."

"I guess I was." I replied.

He never seized to amaze, he looked sinfully amazing tonight also. I really did wish to know how it would feel to run my fingers through those locks and run my tongue on his lips and bite his Adam's apple….

I was brought out of my fantasies by a very hyper Alice and the rest of them taking there seats. "Looks like both of you learned how to behave and talk without killing each other." I blushed a deep red and looked at Edward to see he had an expression which looked as if he had been caught doing something that he was not suppose to do.

"You know Bella even Edward is getting married in around three to four weeks I am so excited to arrange everything!" I looked shocked at Edward while Edward glared daggers at Alice and Growled low in his throat. As if remembering something his head snapped up to me and he asked Alice while looking at me, "What do you mean by even?"

I looked at the table as if it had the most amazing stories on it while in the back of my head I noticed the whole table had fell into silence except for the three of us.

"Oh didn't Bella tell you? She is also getting married." Alice replied way too nonchalantly.

I looked up to see Edward staring at me intently as if I was the biggest puzzle and he was trying to figure me out.

I have no idea how long we sat there and stared at each other while the others conveniently disappeared. I was not able to endure the silence any more so I said; "well now you know the meaning behind my cryptic message I yours."

He shook his head as if he couldn't understand something. "But I thought that is what you have waited for? Haven't you?" he asked confused. "Lets just say live does not work the way fantasy does." I replied.

He cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow at me "again with the cryptic messages."

"I can't help myself." I replied chuckling.

**A/N:** **I hope you like this chapter. Hopefully I'll post the dresses of these three girls on my profile. I am not really satisfied with the title of my fic so it might change in near future. If any of you have some idea do please so share it. And I would love to know what you think of this story so far.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Diary Entry**:

"_**I wish I could get just one wish, just one wish; there is nothing else I am asking for. O if don't than please god let me die in a car accident. Please. Pretty please with a cherry on top."**_

**Bella POV**

It has been three weeks since my parents, practically, ordered me to marry some jerk (you know who). Even though I understood why they did what they did, I still couldn't help but resent them for their decision. And I also had a very relevant reason for loathing them. Charlie did have another choice according to my grandfather's will but he opted to sacrifice me rather than his damn pride.

His pride was just so precious to sacrifice I thought sarcastically.

Renee had been pestering me to accompany her and give her my opinions on my wedding dress, but I just won't take any of it and I made sure to carve this in her brain. So instead she opted to beg me to just show up for fifteen minutes for the dress fitting.

She had ESPICIALLY contacted the owner of and asked him to appoint the best designer to make a wedding gown for me. I just couldn't see the point of her buying me an ostentatious dress when I would not even be happy or give a second glance to what I wear. But it looks like keeping appearances is more important than me.

The wedding cards have been distributed to each and every acquaintance of Renee and Charlie. From what I heard it's going to be a pretty big wedding, the news channels and journalists are going to cover my wedding. I hated the lime light on me but then again my parents didn't give a second thought to my preferences.

I couldn't bring myself to blame them on this because even I knew it was impossible to forge the journalists and reporters since I was the one and only daughter of the owner of one of the top leading companies.

So that is how I had gotten myself stuck in such a situation and driving myself to the office of the designer to try on my dress. I just couldn't bring myself to deny my mom after she had literally begged me and gave me the puppy dog look for the last two weeks.

I reached the building of the designer and parked behind the office. I entered the lobby and asked the receptionist the way to Miss Carla's office.

I got to the tenth floor and was again met with another lobby and the receptionist there confirmed my appointment and led me towards Miss Carla's office.

My mom was sitting on a plush sofa talking to Carla looking very exuberant. I didn't it was possible but when I entered the room her smile grew even wider and her grew even lighter with the excitement she was feeling.

I felt a pang of guilt for hurting her through my attitude but then I reasoned with myself and reminded myself why she was on the receiving end of my foul attitude.

'' Hi Bella! How are you doing?'' asked Carla, obviously excited.

I wasn't in the mood of pleasantries, '' Fine. Let's get this over with.'' I replied and sat myself next to Renee; she looked kind of dejected by my tone. I mean seriously what did she think? I would suddenly go back to the way I was.

Carla had brought out my dress I didn't notice anything else other than the fact that it was white.

I took it from her and went behind the partition and changed into it. I walked out for her to inspect it.

''Ow! Look at you Bella! You look absolutely amazing!''

I didn't care how 'amazing' I looked. I would rather prefer to be dead before I got married to that jerk.

Every time I drove my car I couldn't help but wish that I might just find myself in a serious accident which could fortunately kill me or at least paralyze me for the rest of my damn life.

By the time I was finished with my musings Carla was done with all the important alterations. I changed back into my jeans and shirt and went back out the office with a soft bye to Renee and Carla.

I knew Renee was disappointed by my curt replies and truly even I know she had raised me better than that but I just couldn't make myself to care about it. I was just feeling way to gloom and doom about my situation I had found myself into to care about my damn attitude.

Sometimes I just couldn't help myself from feeling guilty for my behavior, it wasn't my parents fault, they didn't what had transpired between me and pain-in-the-Ass James. I was sure that if they knew they wouldn't be forcing me into such a powerful bond with the person I despised with the very core of my existence.

I got into my car and backed out of the parking lot. I had decided to continue my job at my father's company as the chief executive/CEO of the company.

Unlike others I had started at a very low position compared to my current post, ignoring my Charlie's protests. But I didn't want to be the one who got everything with just a snap of her fingers, even though I did, but I did every thing in my power to change that theory. And this was the only way I could.

And believe I had worked my Ass day and night and made my way towards what I am today.

I decide to go to the gym and work out for a bit. I did have a very professional gym at home but I just didn't feel like spending my time at home, where I was sure Renee would join me in the vain hope of bonding with me and breaking the invisible wall I had created around myself.

I parked my car in the parking lot of the mall and made my way towards the elevator. I reached the second floor and walked out of the elevators to make my ways towards the gym.

The walls of the gym were painted purple and aqua blue and hues of hot pink. It actually looked very beautiful. There was a reception covering half the room, beside the reception was the 'mini revolving door', the kind that just reaches up to your waist. In the other corner of the room were some posters of running for charity, schedule of the classes for the week and poster of some singer's concert which I didn't care to know about.

I walked up to the receptions Erin; she had a body to die for - advantages of working in the gym according to her - long blond hair that reached up to her waist. She had pouty, pink lips, mesmerizing blue eyes and strong and straight nose. She had a sexy tan which almost every woman wanted. I had once a long time ago had tried getting tan like that but obviously it was worthless try because I was left with very red and sun burnt skin later on.

''Hi Erin.''

''Bella!'' she said excitedly. I really liked her; she was one those people who really knew how to have fun. ''There is this really hot spice man in there. Be sure to take his number. I swear you really need to loosen up a bit!'' she didn't know I was only a week away from my utter doom so I just smiled and shook my head at her.

Ever since I joined the gym she had been trying to set me up with someone. I found it endearing but at times.

''I'll try.'' I said in mock exaggeration.

I handed her my Id card. She swapped it in the bar reader and handed it back. I made my way in the locker room; I had kept an extra set of work-out clothes for times like these.

I changed into them. Grabbed my extra I-pod and a bottle of cold water from the wending machine and got up on the treadmill.

I mind went back to the past three weeks, after the night at club, I had met Edward and the rest of the gang a lot more times. I had actually liked a lot the side he had shown me, the side which I was unaware of.

And I was so depressed, aside from the obvious reason; I had never seen he could be so sweet, of course I had seen hints of it but not so openly.

I had sometimes seen him get concerned and sweet when I'd seriously injure myself, like the time I had fractured my ankle in the ice rink, I still couldn't understand why the hell I would agree to something like that when I knew I would end up breaking up my bones.

Well I actually I did know, he had goaded me into it. And maybe that was the reason why he had looked after me for the whole of two hours and then he had gotten back to his old Asshole self.

There was one more time when he had been exceptionally sweet to me. I had had an extremely disastrous day and to top it all, the first episode with James had happened; of course Edward had been there to witness it and later on had been very sweet, he hadn't mentioned it to any one and I was sure of it.

None of us ever discussed it again, pretending as if it had never happened. And honestly, it was more than fine by me.

We never discussed each others marriage knowing it was a sore subject and the fact that we would rather jump of a cliff than talk about.

Edward however had seemed like he had accepted it, like he had to, or more like he owed it to whoever had asked him to. I guessed this because I knew Edward wasn't the type to go and marry a girl, fuck? Yes, but marriage was not something he would do on his own accord. After this is the guy who told me marriage is for pussies we are talking about!

I was dieing to know the cause behind Edward's situation but I didn't have the gut to do so. The day he first told me about it, he had looked as though some one had plunged a knife inside his throat. I wouldn't want to bring the same subject out and cause the pain all over again.

Since then we both had come to certain unspoken terms and had started respecting each other.

I still couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. I knew it was irrelevant an d even if I hadn't been getting married here was no way we would even remotely come as close as to talk politely with each other. So it was a no no situation.

I had never accepted it but I know and knew that I am attracted to Edward no matter how much I dislike the idea. I was attracted to him. A LOT.

I was brought back to present by someone holding my arm. I looked down at the hand on my arm and then traveled my eyes to the owner of the muscled hand.

I was met with a muscled guy, grinning, sexily at me, but I couldn't help but think that he looked like someone has just spanked him and he might just breakdown any second.

I slowly turned my head back to the treadmill; I noticed that I had run for at least an hour while thinking about Edward. I switched the treadmill off, took the ear buds out of my ears and turned to the guy to unleash the full force of my glare on him.

I was panting, of course who wouldn't after such a run, and the sweat was dripping fro my chin to under my shirt. I noticed the asshole's eyes following the trail of sweat, I felt as though I was being raped. I know I was being dramatic but I just couldn't help myself,

"if you actually care for your well being you better take your filthy hands off of me!" I spat through gritted teeth.

His eyes widened at the tone of my voice but didn't back down. I was so furious by the minute. I knew he was just touching me nothing more but I already had a very sucky day and I had no patience left for a hormonal charged guy.

"I think being worked up really suits I like the image of you panting really gives the guy an idea." He said in what I believe he thought was a husky voice.

I really was not in the mood of his shit so I stepped of the treadmill, yanked my hands out of his grasp and stormed my way in the locker room. I heard him call out to me but it did nothing but fuel m anger.

I had no idea why I was so extremely furious. I have had much worse encounter with the opposite sex but I had always reigned in my anger. I could chalk up my behavior as the warning of PMS. But I knew it wasn't true since I had just been fee of it, maybe it was the after effect…

I spent rest of the evening locked up in my library back at my house. I spent some quality time with Wuthering heights; I haven't been able to do so in the last three months.

By the time I was finished it was past midnight. I stretched my legs and hands and walked back to the shelf to keep the book back in its original place.

I decided to take a relaxing shower my muscles were pretty sore due to my incessant work out. I wasn't done with my run but I had to go and do some weight lifting and other stretching exercises. I have been out of practice for the other exercises except for running I haven't had much time in the last one month.

I started the hot water in the tub and filed it with some lavender and freesia bath salts. Over time I had always found the smell of these flowers soothing and calming.

I walked towards the I-pod dock in the bathroom and played one of my many play lists. Next I lit some candles which again smelled as Freesia and lavender. I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me, to let the tub fill and the aroma to spread inside.

I got my favorite cupcake shorts and a tank top out of my closet and walked back in the bathroom. The tub was almost full and as promised the smell that greeted almost knocked me down. In a good way. After hanging my PJs on the cloth holder I walked into the tub. The best thing about my tub was the fact that no matter how much you filled the water wont splash on the floor. It was more like a tub in a tub.

Immediately my muscles loosened and relaxed, the combination of hot water, with the heady scent of the flowers intoxicated me.

I concentrated on the lyrics of the song playing. The weird thing was that I could actually connect with the song. What I wouldn't do to have one wish just one wish.

_Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)  
Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)_

Yeah  
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish  
To go back to a place much simpler than this  
Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'  
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion  
And all the pandemonium and all the madness  
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness  
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap  
And you hoping but them people never call you back  
But that's just how the story unfolds  
You get another hand soon after you fold  
And when your plans unravel  
And they sayin' what would you wish for  
If you had one chance

It really was relevant; we could actually wish on the plane, shooting stars were a rare possibility now a days.

_So airplane airplane sorry I'm late  
I'm on my way so don't close that gate  
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight  
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night_

Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars

_I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)  
Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)_

Somebody take me back to the days  
Before this was a job, before I got paid  
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank  
Yeah back when I was tryin' to get into the subway  
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it  
But now a days we rappin' to stay relevant  
I'm guessin that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes  
Then maybe yo maybe I'll go back to the days  
Before the politics that we call the rap game  
And back when ain't nobody listened to my mix tape  
And back before I tried to cover up my slang  
But this is for the Cada, what's up Bobby Ray  
So can I get a wish to end the politics  
And get back to the music that started this sh-t  
So here I stand and then again I say  
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)  
Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

By the time was finished I was almost asleep, I unplucked the tub and let the water drain and wrapped myself in a towel. I went through my necessities, got dressed and walked inside my room.

The bed looked do inviting, with the soft glow coming from my table room and the fluffy pillows, it truly looked like heaven. Even though I hadn't eaten since the afternoon I couldn't bring myself to care I was so tired my eyes drooping and I practically dragging myself to the bed.

As soon as my head hit pillow I was deep in slumber.

That was the night I dreamt of Edward Cullen and I getting married.

**A/N: hi to any one who is reading. I have decided to only write Bella pov to at least keep Edwards emotions hidden. And please, please do review, I would really appreciate it.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All the characters and what so ever are originally owned by Stephanie Meyer**

**Chapter 6**

_**Diary Entry:**_

"_**I have no idea what game fate was playing with me but I had resigned myself to even bother myself to find out."**_

**Bella POV**

I had been sitting on the exact same chair for the last five hours thirty two minutes and forty five seconds. The fact that I know the precise time is because I, for one, didn't want to be here and that might be the reason why I haven't been cooperating at all with the two girls who have been poking, prodding or in short beautifying me. Seriously it wasn't as if I wanted to be here and as it is I am probably going to be a sex slave soon enough – just thinking about tonight or in fact this evening makes me feel like slithering my throat – so why not make every person suffer who comes in my way.

I sighed, I haven't ever been this vengeful, in fact, I have never been like this. And I also didn't like the new side of me, sure I was anxious and apprehensive about tonight and the rest of my life – anxious might just be a very mild word – and hurt that my parents would do this to me but it wasn't as if I had no choice if I wanted to I could have gone filed an attorney or just out right declined my parents, but I didn't, because I knew they were desperate to hold onto what ever they were holding onto. So I just went along with it.

I have been in the spa of Del Monte Lodge for the last five and a half hours. Today was the big day, it depends in which sense you take it but I for one, am taking it in a very bad, very disastrous, very mournful day.

Renee had booked me up for full body wax, mud pack, facial, massage, manicure, pedicure, Moroccan bath – which was pretty embarrassing considering the woman was scrubbing each and every skin available or not! - And something else that they will do to my hair. We had gone through the first three items in the list and, of course the Moroccan bath. I am currently having my manicure done. I could already feel that it is going to be a very long day. The girls were giving me a French manicure and pedicure. And I had to admit, it did look pretty amazing.

Next to me were Renee, - and to my utter horror, though I did expect it – Rosalie, Alice, Angela and Esme. I should have know that Renee would act as if every thing was right in the world and make my nightmare-ish day into some girls-bonding and exciting day, even though there was nothing even close to exciting for me.

Rosalie and Alice were giggling beside me; they had been doing this since they came in with us. They would look at me, whisper something and start giggling. And when I would raise an eyebrow at them questioning them on their obviously suspicious and girly behavior, they would just giggle harder. So I settled on ignoring them.

Esme and Renee were talking with each other discussing something they have seen in the magazine. And Angela was listening to her I-pod. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"You sure you don't want to know the name of your groom?" Alice asked snickering. This must have been the umpteenth time she had asked the exact same question and I would reply with different kinds of no every time. This time, however, I settled for just a slight shake of my head.

She was acting as if she knew the biggest secret that I would want to know. I, however, didn't feel the same about the topic.

I have told her that I had denied to know the name of the groom, I know it sounded amateur, but it was my way of coping with reality. I thought if I didn't know who 'he' was, then 'it' might not be him but someone else. Wishful thinking? I know.

But like someone said, ignorance is bliss, though they forgot to add 'but will give you a killer headache every night.

I couldn't help but think that Edward might also be there. Seeing that his family and friends were already coming and the fact that Charlie and Carlisle are great friends only solidified the idea.

I have no idea what he would think of me. And probably he would be the next one getting married in the same week. I was always overwhelmed with jealousy when ever I thought of Edward with some one else. Well, he had always been sexually active but even I knew those were just flings, but this was strong and everlasting, well, of course, depending on the person.

I had always been jealous of the girls who had been with Edward but this was different, this reached a whole different level of jealousy. I knew I couldn't have him, ever. But both of us getting married just solidified the idea.

I realized I had spaced out – again – when one of the two girls asked me to move into one of the rooms to get my massage done. Lately I had been doing a lot of spacing out, even at work; I frowned at my self and settled on the comfy bed thing while the blond girl massaged me.

I thought about the dream I had of Edward and me getting married. It was the weirdest dream I had ever had, though I always have weird dreams throughout my life but this was the weirdest of weirdest, I don't think that's even English, but it made sense in my mind any way.

I dreamt of Edward in a black tux kneeling on one knee, the way guys used to do in 1900's, and I was in this white silk gown flowing to the ground and the lace covered my arms and the bottom half of the gown with little diamonds embedded on it in different intervals, the sun made the diamonds sparkle making them throw rainbow colors through out the yard. My hair was swept up while a few curled tendrils came out of the hair-do.

He was proposing to me in my dream in such a sweet and gentlemanly way. I don't think he is even capable of that in reality.

I have no idea why my subconscious brain conjured up those images but I do know that it was very startling. I think my brain was just trying to mock me or some shit. I swear even my brain doest sympathize with me.

I was startled awake by the same blond girl who gave me the massage. I moved onto the chair where they washed and conditioned my hair. About another half and hour later the girl blow dried my hair and I was free from the half torture and half blissful day – I say blissful because of the massage - .

I hated feeling so relaxed after all the pampering, I was absolutely not in the mood to be relaxed while what happened tonight and, of course, this evening.

Alice bounced over to me and Rosalie and Angela were behind her laughing at something. "Are you ready? Now we'll go have our make up and hair done! We only have Four hours left!" At least someone was excited; I rolled my eyes mentally at myself.

"As ready as I will ever be." I replied glumly.

All of us piled up in Renee's hummer and made our way to our next destination.

After an hour and a half of brushing, tugging and what not the hair stylist was done with my hair. I was planning on sleeping while the stylist worked on me but I think she purposely made that absolutely impossible for me.

We all were dressed in flimsy bathrobes. I stood and made my way towards Alice who was already sitting on a plush leather couch. Since her hair was short, the stylist didn't take much time at styling her hair. She was done in an hour.

Alice looked way too excited. Not that she wasn't normally excited, but today somehow she has broken her own record.

I had tried asking her in the past hour but she had denied anything like that and just said she was excited for the both of us since I was doing a very good job. I didn't believe her for a second. I tried again, "Alice you do know I know you better than any one else right?" she nodded warily as if afraid of what I would say next.

"Well then tell me what are you so excited about?"

After ten minutes of my steady and insisting stare she sighed as if resigned, she knew I wouldn't stop until I knew and can go to any length when I wanted to.

She looked at me cautiously and said "I am going to be your maid of honor and Rose is your bride's maid."

"Oh" I replied I couldn't think of anything else to say. I mean I would have cared less of who was what at the wedding. "How is that exciting?" I asked because seriously I couldn't see the lure of it

"Are you kidding me?" she asked shocked and looking at me as if I had lost my mind.

I shrugged. She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, as if she was really disappointed. I didn't doubt that, because she might really be.

We were both called by the make up artists to get our make done. This time however I was able to get shut eye for exactly thirty minutes.

After my make up was done I stood up and stretched my arms and legs a little, I have been sitting for two hours straight in the exact same position.

I turned around to see Alice looking really stunning.

She had on a metallic orange and black dress which reached her mid thigh. The dress had a sweet heart neckline which was pretty deep to look sexy but decent at the same time. There was silver glitter work in beautiful flowers and intricate loops which started from the middle of her chest and ended just a few inches below and covered the circumference of her dress. Below the silver glitter work the dress was black and above it was metallic orange.

The dress below the intricate design was fluffed out. She had on a diamond dangling earring. Her hair was fluffed and was a little messy. Her hair and make-up was done impeccably. Her eyes were outlined in a smoky shade while the lids were done in gold. She had on a rose lip gloss.

She twirled to give me a look of her back.

I gasped and my eyes widened in shock.

Her dress was already cut low on her back to top it the dress was held with strings crisscrossed above the black fluffed material and silver intricate designs.

My eyes traveled down to see her wearing black heels with a bit of silver in it.

She twirled back to see me and grinned widely at me. "Wow Alice, you look absolutely gorgeous. Why don't you marry the guy? I whined.

Angela and Rose giggled while Alice made gagging noises.

My eyes snapped to Rose and Angela. They both also looked absolutely stunning.

Rose's hair was done in lose curls which cascaded down the middle of her back. She was wearing a metallic jade green dress with hints of black and white.

It was spaghetti strap dress and had a plunging neckline. There was a broche in the middle of the chest with a dark green belt around the dress. The dress rested on her thigh.

She had on high heels. Typical Rose style. She was only wearing diamond studs as jewelry. Even then she looked beautiful.

Her eyes were done in a smoky shade. Pink blush and peach lip gloss. She was the definition of perfection. The way Rose held herself with self confidence – which I don't have – made her look even more appealing in the every one else's eyes and every sense.

Where as Angela looked hot but sweet because of her smile.

She was wearing a red dress which reached her mid thigh. It was a one strap dress. Her right breast was covered with red and white sequins which went all the way to her left shoulder and reached back again to the same place. The dress wasn't fitted in fact it was flow-y from below her chest just like Rosalie's. A lot of her back was shown from between materials.

Her black hair was curled. She was wearing red lipstick and had on a light make-up with coal black eyeliner. She was wearing big dangly diamond earrings and of course high heels.

None of their dresses were traditional-floor length-wedding dresses, instead they were all short and NC-17 rated prom like dresses. But the fact that mattered was they looked stunning and it was their style.

"You all look absolutely amazing! Do you all have to when I am going to die tonight?" I whined. "None of you are true friends!" I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest dramatically.

They all giggled and muttered something about me being overly dramatic like him. I turned to look at them questioningly. But they just giggled harder.

I glared at them but was cut short by one of the stylists coming out of the changing room and ushered me inside.

She fitted me in the dress. Put on a veil on my head did some last finishing touches on my makeup. I was thanking the lord for not forcing me into heels. Since the dress was floor length I could wear my flats underneath it.

She walked me carefully towards the full length mirror. My eyes widened in shock.

I hadn't actually paid attention to what I wore when I was trying it on a week before.

The gown was actually very amazing. It was strapless and had a sweet heart neck line. It was fitted till the waist and then fluffed out and flowed to the floor. It was sequined and had amazing beading and thread work done till the waist. The gown was then bunched in by sequins; bead and thread work and then flowed out. The same pattern repeated in different places all over the gown.

All of my hair was piled up on top of my head and was puffed out in front was. The hairstylist had piled my hair on top by difficult looking braids around the knot. A veil was fixed on top of my hair and flowed down in frills.

I had on a diamond necklace which complimented the dress.

My makeup was done in a more natural way. I was wearing a light red lipstick.

I hated the stylists for making me look beautiful, yes, beautiful, I never thought I'd say that, but that is how I looked. I hated my mom even more for getting this amazing dress.

I felt tears threatening my eyes and the familiar stinging behind my eyes. I closed my eyes in an attempt to stop them from spilling.

Finally when I thought I was in control I opened them to see Esme and Renee staring at me.

Esme and Renee both almost had the similar shade of the dress. Esme wore a black long mermaid dress. It was strapless with a sweetheart neckline. The dress was bunched on the left side by a white diamond shaped broche on her knee. She had a shawl on her arms.

Her hair was piled up on her head. She was wearing a diamond necklace and bracelet. She looked beautiful.

Renee was wearing a dark brown floor length mermaid dress. It had a sweetheart neckline. It had a sequins strip of lace on her waist and on the neckline. She wore an onyx bracelet and dangling earrings.

Half of her hair was piled up on her head in a puff while the rest flowed down.

Esme walked up to me and handed me a bunch of flower. She kissed me on my forehead and whispered, "You look exquisite dear, hope you have all the happiness in the world."

"I think that is impossible Esme." My voice was filled with unshed tears.

She was about to say something else when Alice bounced in the room and squealed in excitement. "Look at you! You look amazing! Oh, everyone will be speechless once they set their eyes on you!" she gushed.

We all piled up in the limousine waiting for us. Alice, Angela and Rosalie were practically bouncing in their seats with excitement. Esme and Renee were glowing with happiness. What they were happy or excited about totally flew off of my head.

I rolled my eyes at them and looked out the window. I noticed that it would be twilight in about half an hour or so. I sighed a depressed sigh, leaned my head against the seat, careful not to ruin the hair-do, and closed my eyes against my fate.

When I opened my eyes I realized that our limousine was already parked in front of the place where I'd be slaughtered. The weird thing was the fact that where my life is going to end – figuratively, of course, but you get what I mean – was decorated so elegantly.

The stairs leading inside the hotel, had flowers and little twinkling lights all over the side of the steps leading up to the gate.

The front door was bustling with cars and photographers. The driver drove the car to the back entrance.

We all entered through the back door and were greeted by a flustered looking woman. She led us to an air conditioned tent. I sat on a sofa and was starting to hyperventilate. Everything came crashing down on me. Yes, I had already known this was eventually going to happen in just a matter of weeks. But knowing it and experiencing it are two very different aspects of life. You never really know what you think you know if you hadn't experienced it. I began to heave and pant.

Rosalie noticing this ran up to me and began to console me. Suddenly the reality caught up to me. I started begging her to not let me go out there and marry that piece of shit. No matter what she said didn't do shit to calm me down.

Esme joined Rose, and her sweet face was my undoing. The dam which I was desperately trying to keep a hold on to started spilling. Esme panicked and called for Alice.

She screeched in horror at seeing me. I cracked a small smile and sniffed at her horror stricken face.

It was hilarious and I would probably be laughing my ass off at the whole thing if the situation wasn't so serious.

She shooed Esme and Rose away and crouched down to hold my hand and come just a little below my eye level. "Bella please trust me on this, everything is going to be fine. Do you think I'd be so happy if it was the other way around?" she talked slowly as if she was talking to a petulant child. And in this case maybe I was acting like a petulant child. She was right though, I knew never to bet against Alice and so did every one else. She had always had these feelings which helped her along the way.

I took a deep breath hiccupping all the while. She asked for a glass of water with a straw for me to drink.

"I knew this would happen." She grumbled to herself but loud enough for me to hear.

She produced a bag with the makeup. She retouched my make up while muttering about how thankful she was to ask the stylist to use water proof makeup while I sipped ice cold water and calmed myself down. When she was satisfied she stood up narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her nose in concentration, scrutinizing me for ten minutes I rolled my eyes at her and she just glared at me. After a while she softened up. She bent at her hip and kissed my forehead and whispered, "Everything's going to be fine, trust me. I love you."

She straightened up then looked up like her exuberant self. "Okay let's get this show on the road! Since you refused to have the dress rehearsal and to know anything what so ever related about your wedding which again I say is borderline stupid, this is what you have to do. I'll go out first when the music starts than Rose. And when the music changes for the third time, come out with Charlie. And don't worry about the cameras just ignore them. Remember to put on a small smile on your face no matter what is going on in that dangerous head of ours." When she was done ticking off everything on her fingers, she took a deep breath twirled around. Held the awesome smelling flowers and moved out of the tent.

Esme and Renee had already moved out to sit with the guests. Rose and Angela helped me stand gave bouquet of exotic flowers and walked me towards the entrance of the tent.

After a minute Rose left the tent the tent to join Alice.

Charlie entered the tent from the back door, took my hand and stood beside me. We didn't exchange any words since we both knew it was fruitless. We both loathed the attention, but it just came with lifestyle. It was kind of a done deal.

He was some what used to the idea since he had a lot of practice but I always avoided such attention and usually kept myself low-key. We both were nervous, me more so than him.

The wedding was being held outside in the garden – I don't exactly know if we would call it a garden, but I sure did know that there were a lot of grass, trees and everything nature related which was owned by the hotel - of the hotel.

My heart was thundering inside my chest, it was running a mile a minute. I thought I was going in a cardiac arrest. This might just be good…

Angela gave me a reassuring smile and went out of the tent to loin the guests.

When a different song came on the speakers, two women around their mid thirties held the curtain open for us. I thought I was going to faint with adrenaline coursing through me and the sound off blood whooshing in my ear. I was surprised I could hear the music over the sound of my blood pumping.

Then I remembered Alice's words.

…_Bella please trust me on this…_

…_You think I would be happy if it was the other way round…_

… _Everything is going to be fine…_

…_trust me…_

… _I love you…_

I drew some courage from them and stepped out with Charlie.

Just as we stepped out a hundred cameras flashed in just a minute. I tried to ignore it as much as I could. I put on a fake smile, fixed my eyes on the ground and walked with the beat.

From my peripheral vision I could see that the garden was decorated in a stunning way. There were comfortable looking chairs placed all over the yard and I could see the guests gaping at me.

There were exotic looking fountains at both the sides of the yard. There were twinkling lights placed on the trees and lanterns were hung all over the place. Flowers were hung and kept all over the yard.

Since it was nearing twilight, these were the only lights lighting the place.

As we reached the aisle and stood on the slightly raised platform Charlie placed my hand in 'his' hand and stepped aside. The music had changed when I had stepped on the aisle.

I noticed that the aisle's pillars were decorated with the same twinkling lights and flowers were wrapped around it.

I hated to admit it but it honestly looked spectacular.

The twinkling lights and lanterns cast a soft glow and created a romantic atmosphere when it was anything but.

The priest began to speak and I realized that whoever had planned the wedding – most probably Alice – planned it around twilight.

I tuned everything out, not listening to a single word the priest said. Instead I paid extra attention to the settings and decorations of the aisle.

It truly was a sight to behold. The roof of the aisle had a round tomb like shape. The floor of the aisle was covered by flickering candles all around its perimeter, leaving just enough space for two people to leave together.

It truly was a shame. If it hadn't been for my situation, I would have wanted my wedding to be planned exactly like this minus the extravagant attention and a million cameras of course.

A magnificent chandelier hung in the middle of the aisle, just above the priest.

When Alice nudged me and whispered to me to repeat my vows.

I figured I must have tuned out completely as I hadn't even noticed 'him' repeating them himself.

I stared intently at 'his' shoes as if my life depended on it and recited my vows in a lifeless voice. No matter what kind of havoc was taking place inside of me, I didn't let it show on the outside. Well, except in my voice. But I did that on purpose I wanted 'him' to know I wasn't doing this willingly.

I had perfected my façade of hiding my emotions over the years. After all, if you live like a celebrity you have to be able to do that.

I made sure to plaster a small smile on my face to feed the cameras and the guests with and keep out all the damn controversies.

Rose had handed me a piece of paper with my vows written on it. I had memorized it while the beauticians had worked on me in the spa of Del Monte Lodge.

I heard the priest asking Alice and … Jasper?... to hand us the rings.

Now that was weird if 'he' was who I think 'he' is, why would Jasper be with him? Or had he changed sides, but that was unlikely because the last time I checked he wanted to knock the living daylights out of James.

I was really tempted to look up and see what Jasper was doing here. But I wanted to protect my eyes from 'him' as long as possible. I know it sounded childish and amateur, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to grant this privilege to myself.

I know I had been very dramatic in the past month, but that is just how I am.

Alice urged my hand forward; my eyes snapped up to his hand, something about those hands was familiar.

Of course it was familiar, I had seen the same hand up close, I thought sarcastically.

I shuddered at the memory and tried my best to block it. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was not 'his' hand. I saw him slipping a beautiful ring on my finger.

It had several small diamonds embedded in it. It must be an inch or two long and was completely covered in white gold and diamonds. I had to admit he had impeccable choice… or whoever bought it had impeccable choice, I added as an after thought.

Alice handed me my ring for him. It was placed in a small cushion covered in black velvet. The color and the texture of the cushion made the ring look even more beautiful and expensive… which it actually was. I could easily guess this since I didn't pick out this ring which meant either Renee or Alice had. They never did anything half assed or relatively cheap, and what is relatively cheap for them is relatively expensive for us.

Any way back to the ring. It was made of white gold with a single diamond embedded in the centre and crosses on either side of it.

I took it a slid it on his ring finger.

The priest declared us husband and wife. I thought I might just pass out with the dread coursing through me.

I took in a large gulp of breath to steady myself. I dreaded the next part even more because now I had to kiss him.

"You may now kiss the bride." Were the last words I heard before the world disappeared around me as I raised my head up slowly. Trying to delay the actual moment.

I was met with the all too familiar and mesmerizing green eyes. Both our eyes widened in shock. I gasped out loud.

I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me and what my brain comprehended.

I blinked a few times to see if I was delusional or hallucinating. After it was possible, I had been thinking about him a lot more then I cared to admit.

After a few minutes when he didn't disappear. I felt joy, relief, nervousness and a million other emotions I couldn't describe coursing through me.

I realized with batted breath, I was married to Edward Cullen.

**A/N: ****I haven't read the chapter again so I hope you'd forgive me if I had done some mistake. I don't have a beta reader at the moment or more importantly she is on a vacation and doesn't have the decency to at least send me a damn message – roll my eyes – I hope you like this chapter. The rest of the wedding will be in the next chapter. **

**I am trying to cut the chapters short but this is still eleven pages and 5,064 words. Lol. If I would have added the rest of the wedding it would have at least gone to twenty pages.**

**The links to the dresses the girls wore on the wedding is on my profile. If you think it'll be easier if I just copy/paste the link with the chapter itself than let me know, I'll do that next time.**

**P.S: PLEASE don't forget to review… **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: all the amazing characters are originally owned by Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter 7 **

_**Diary Entry:**_

"_**Holy mother of f*#k! Is this some kind of a joke or what? I am married to the whore-turned-temporarily-good Edward Cullen!"**_

"_**I don't really know if it's going to be a good thing or not for me. But one thing that I am damn sure about is the fact that it's going to be a hell of a roller coaster ride! And I can't wait to get up on the damn thing!"**_

**Bella POV**

"_You may now kiss the bride." Were the last words I heard before the world disappeared around me as I raised my head up slowly. Trying to delay the actual moment._

_I was met with the all too familiar and mesmerizing green eyes. Both our eyes widened in shock. I gasped out loud. _

_I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me and what my brain comprehended. _

_I blinked a few times to see if I was delusional or hallucinating. After it was possible, I had been thinking about him a lot more then I cared to admit._

_After a few minutes when he didn't disappear. I felt joy, relief, nervousness and a million other emotions I couldn't describe coursing through me._

_I realized with batted breath, I was married to Edward Cullen._

I wondered for a second if he knew all along about this. But decided against it, it couldn't have been possible. If he did know about it he wouldn't have been so sweet and suave with me.

Then like a ton of bricks the priest's words came to my mind. I was suppose to kiss him!

I looked intently in Edward's eyes as if to gauge his reaction. If it was even possible his eyes widened even more, as if he had came to the same conclusion as me.

He looked at me questioningly; I knew there was no other way around or I would have figured it by now. Not that I would consider even finding any other path when I knew who my mate is…

I nodded minutely so that only he recognized I have given him permission.

He inched closer to me while I did the same, mesmerized and captivated by his stunning eyes. He was just an inch apart from my lips; I could feel his breath blowing on my face. My heart was beating wildly, I was afraid that I might be going into cardiac arrest. I thought he might be able to hear me. I checked his expressions to figure out whether he could, and to my utter relief he didn't show any indication that he could.

I was feeling light headed with the smell of his breath, I was intoxicated. My palms broke out in cold sweat. I tried to wipe them on the wrapping paper of the flowers I was holding.

Only a few seconds had passed since all these primal reactions begun inside of me. I could feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach from the nerves. We both closed our eyes and our lips touched.

My lips burst on fire. I could feel the tingles shooting from my lips and shooting all the way to the palms of my hand and to the pit of my stomach. I haven't ever felt this… alive before. I have never felt so amazing. It scared the crap out of me. Yes I had kissed before, a lot of time at that. But it was just that, just a simple kiss but this felt like so much more. I have gone out on a lot of dates, most of which were bottom line sucky. Those which were actually good lacked something in the other ground... yup, you guessed it right, they were disgusting kissers.

Either their breath smelled like garlic or rotten fish or

I heard myself moan low in my throat, I felt his hands come up and rest on my cheek. I heard him make a sound it sounded more like a growl. I had no idea I could feel more aroused and feel any more tingles than I already was but I did. His voice brought out a hidden part in me that I didn't know it existed.

I heard someone clear her throat and that brought me back down to earth. I had been floating on the clouds when Edward's lips met mine and had forgotten the fact that hundreds and thousands of people were watching us and shooting us.

The reality hit me like a bucket of icy cold water. I jerked my head away and out of his grasp, I saw his eyes widen and look confused by my sudden behavior. I darted my eyes down and blushed, I knew I would be looking like a tomato for the next few minutes.

I took a few deep, calming breaths and tried to slow my breathing down. We both turned around to walk out of the aisle and inside the hotel where the dinner was being held.

Edward offered me his arm and I took it. We both looked straight ahead and walked down the carpeted ground inside the hotel. All the while people were staring and cameras were flashing, it freaked me out a bit because I was never the one for the lime light. Edward sensing this brought his other hand up and squeezed my hand in reassurance.

I noticed from my peripheral vision that Edward was deep in thought, brows furrowing and a cute crinkle coming in between his brows.

I shook my head at myself mentally. Cute? Really.

I sighed in relief when we entered the hall. Alice had seriously outdone herself. The hall was impeccable.

The hall was painted blood red. There were many round tables arranged through out the room with white velvet table cloths draped over them. There were candles placed in a glass jar on the table with roses, freesias, lavender, forget-me-not's placed around the jar of flickering candles.

There was a combination of hot pink, white and blood red silk curtains hung in a complicated manner on the ceiling and windows.

A white carpet was laid out all the way to the stage. All kinds of flowers were strewn on the carpet. A big chandelier hung on the centre of the ceiling.

The place looked royal, romantic and very dreamy. Too bad I couldn't really appreciate it.

We walked with Alice and the rest of our family to the table appointed for us. All the guests were milling inside the room, sitting, talking and some coming to us and congratulating us. We both gave them a smile and a nod in response to be polite.

I didn't know whether to be ecstatic and enthusiastic or anxious and worried about the fact that I am married to the guy I have lusted after for the past five years. Let's not forget the fact that I wasn't able to stand in the ten mile radius of his presence other than the obvious reasons, until recently.

From being enemies we have suddenly found ourselves as partners, and not just normal partners, we are supposed to be life partners.

I couldn't come to grips with the reality; I thought I am in a daze or maybe a dream. But I couldn't figure out why the heck would my sub-conscious mind make Edward my husband, wasn't I constantly thinking and dreading about James being the one, so if anything wasn't I supposed to be married to him in my sub-conscious. But then again I have thought about Edward more than I would ever care to admit and is healthy so this might just be the product of my imagination. I think my mind just is showing me the better of the two.

If I have to admit this was definitely way better than the former. I nodded to myself as if that was a good explanation. Maybe I was just hallucinating.

To make sure that I was really off into my own imaginary world I pinched myself, hard.

I jumped and yelped loudly in surprise, as that shit really hurt. I hadn't held back my force.

I looked around the table and noticed every one was looking at me with a big question mark on their face. "I … bit my tongue." I stuttered as explanation. I looked to my right and saw Edward staring intently at my arm where I had pinched myself; I followed his gaze and gasped as it had already begun to bruise.

Fortunately I hadn't gasped loud enough for the whole table to hear, but loud enough for Edward to look up and meet my eyes.

I saw a smirk forming on his face, "bit your tongue?" he asked but it was clear from his tone o f voice that he didn't believe me and had caught me pinching myself. I could see the amusement dancing in his mesmerizing eyes.

"Shut up" I grumbled and diverted my eyes from his. I was blushing, to my utter embarrassment, I peeked at him from the corner of my eyes and saw him looking at me and chuckling. I quickly diverted my eyes and stared intently at the flowers in my hand, as if they were the most intriguing things in this planet.

I was glad to know at least we could be how we were and this awkward and unknown to his a few minutes ago, situation hadn't at least changed that.

There was soft music playing in the background, after a minute I heard the music stop and mike being switched on. I glanced up on the stage and saw Rosalie holding a mike and looking truly like a goddess.

"Its time for the groom and the bride to have their first dance." I gasped in shock. I had totally forgotten that aspect of the evening. I started trembling, I had no idea what I was so nervous about since I was a pro at dancing, but something about dancing with Edward and especially as his bride had me break out in a cold sweat.

Alice squealed from behind me. I head snapped towards her and I saw her practically bouncing in her seat. It looked as if she was the one getting or just got married. I rolled my eyes at her.

I felt Edward snake his hand around mine. I jumped startled and looked at him, he eyed me with confusion before he stood up without a word. Alice took the flowers from me and placed it on the table. I took a deep breath and stood up. Alice squealed again.

Both Edward and I looked at her questioningly but she just smiled at us as if nothing was wrong. I swear the girl could keep on squealing forever if she wanted and still have the energy to do other things.

We both chuckled at her and made our way towards the dance floor.

My heart was running a marathon in my chest and from the sound and feel of it; I'd venture to guess it was winning.

Edward spun me around to face him and placed his hands on my hips. Hesitantly I touched his shoulders and put my hand a bit firmly after a minute, I didn't want to look like a totally dazzled woman, even though that is exactly how I was feeling.

I have no idea why I was acting like a nervous wreck. Okay maybe I did know. But it still doesn't give me the excuse to act like a total moron.

There was a song playing by some artist I didn't know, nor did I care to.

We twirled around to the music completely smitten and mesmerized by his eyes. I didn't know what was going through that gorgeous head of his but if their was something I had made myself good at, it was reading his expression and even then quarter of the time I was wrong.

I could see a war going on from his expressions. I was afraid that he might think I had tricked him into marrying me, when it was anything but that. I knew he knew I was better than to do that shit. He was eyeing me so intently, I felt as though he could see my soul through my eyes. He was penetrating with his mesmerizing eyes. The air around us was thick with tension, I could feel it hitting me every few minutes.

I wanted to look away from his captivating eyes, I didn't want him to know how I was feeling as it was already embarrassing enough to moan while he kissed me. But then he had replied with a throaty groan almost like a growl of his own. Only thinking about it brought goose bumps to my flesh, a shiver ran down my spine and I could feel my female parts throbbing and pulsating.

Everything thing was so baffling. I had never felt any of these emotions and feelings before, it left me stunned. I knew well enough from reading books that what I was feeling was called desire. I have no sexual experience, not even with kissing, touching or anything of any kind.

I am or was a virgin of sexual experience. I say was because I had just kissed the enigmatic Edward Cullen.

I licked my lips instinctively remembering the kiss in front of a million people. Edwards's eyes traveled down to my lips and he watched me lick my lips. I knew I should have stopped myself from doing that but my lips suddenly felt very dry.

He gazed at my lips for a moment before snapping his eyes up to mine. His eyes spoke volumes, I could see lust in his eyes, but I could also see hints of sadness. My breathing was labored and so was his.

I didn't know when the song ended but I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was jolted away from my lust induced trance. I looked away from Edwards eyes immediately and saw Emmett extending his hand, '' Won't you dance with me belle-bean.'' he whined. I groaned. I seriously have to threaten him with something to stop calling me these ridiculous names.

I glanced up at Edward and saw him still looking at me. I brought my hands away from his shoulders, he didn't let go of me, he looked like he was trying to find answers to his questions, which I had no idea what they were.

''Come on dude, you'll have her the whole night and the rest of your life. Cant you spare her for a song?" he whined.

I blushed as I realized what he meant by his 'night' comment, I glanced at Edward and he smirked at me obviously also thinking about the same thing as me, I blushed deeper and swiftly steeped back from him, not able to make eye contact with him.

I jumped, startled as I felt someone enclosing me in their arms. I looked behind me to see Rosalie smiling at me, she rested her chin on my left shoulder and fake whispered, "Can I borrow your hubby for a dance?" I rolled my eyes at her and moved out of her arms and towards Emmett.

"Come on big boy, let's dance." I sighed and took a hold of Emmett's hands.

"I see someone's excited." He said sarcastically, I just rolled my eyes at him and continued dancing. From my peripheral I could see Edward and Rosalie dancing and a bunch of other couples dancing as well. I was well aware of Edward even when I changed partners and danced with others.

I was aware of his every move and glance towards me.

I have no idea of how many people I have already danced with, I had been polite and chatted with them but my mind and senses were only focused on a bronze haired guy.

Well, of course, until Charlie came along and I was twirled into his arms. I looked up and my smile fell. Charlie sighed, "Bella you looked quite happy with the rest of them, why the long face now?"

"Dad you do know that Edward and I had never got along right? How do you know that we wont end killing each other by the end of the first week or just file for a divorce?" I asked him, even though saying the word 'divorce' gave a tug to my heart.

"I know both of you have never got along in the past – he emphasized the word past, as if it wasn't applicable now, I felt a little suspicious of him, I knew him and I knew he knew something that he wasn't suppose to know. I even sounded so suspicious and detective type in my head. – and I have been noticing the both of you this evening and I can assure you that the both of you look far from killing each other." He said chuckling. I averted my eyes and blushed; I knew what he was talking about. They must have seen us dance on the dance floor.

"As for about divorce, it is absolutely out of the question." He said seriously. I was pissed to say the least, I knew I wasn't going to take such a step in the near future nor was I even capable of thinking about it, but who was I to say Edward might just not be thinking about it right this moment.

"Dad you have already taken so many decisions out of my hand. It is up to me to file for a divorce or not." I said furiously. I was seething. I mean he just can't dictate my life as long as I live.

"I know what you are thinking Isabella; I am not trying to dictate your life. But you can't file for a divorce. Do you have any idea what kind of an impression it would leave upon us?" he said. I knew he was angry and was trying to control it. He never calls me Isabella until and unless he is very angry.

I just huffed like a petulant child. I didn't want to create a scene here as there were already a million cameras there. Fortunately the song came to an end and I stepped away from him, Charlie obviously sensing my anger sighed in exasperation. He didn't have the right to be exasperated because obviously this wasn't happening to him.

I was glaring at the floor when a strong pair of hands gripped my hips and twirled me around. I was pissed, can't someone give a girl some alone time. I snapped my head up, dead set on killing the guy with my glare when I saw Edward looking at me with eyes filled with concern.

My heart beat increased and I sighed, irritated at myself and my foolish reactions.

He touched my chin and tilted it upwards, forcing me to look up at him. I was starting to get nervous because of his close proximity. I had never been like this. Yes my heart had lurched just a bit back then also, but it had never bet so furiously and never had I ever broke out in cold sweat.

"You bite any harder and you'll surely draw blood." He said eyeing my lips.

I swiftly released it as I wasn't aware of it until he pointed it out to me.

He eyed my lips for a moment longer and my heart beat grew more erratic.

He looked up at me and asked softly, "you seemed upset earlier."

I sighed, "I don't wanna talk about it." I said and stared at his tie.

He eyed me for a minute as if to figure something out, I glanced right back at him. He sighed as if resigned. He had been doing this the whole evening and I was confused, I had no idea what he was seeking but couldn't find. I had this strong urge to give him whatever he wanted, I didn't want to see him so desolated because of me.

"Okay" he sighed. If there was one thing we absolutely knew about one another was the fact to not to push each other to tell they didn't want to talk about.

He looked absolutely stunning tonight, it wasn't as if I hadn't seen him in his formals but something about his clothes today was different. He looked breathtaking and mouthwatering.

He was wearing a well fitted, but slightly loose black pants, a white shirt underneath that shoulder defining coat. His coat was unbuttoned and so were the two buttons of his dress shirt, and had a white tie. His hair was in his usual sexy disarray.

When the song ended I stepped away from him and said, "My feet are killing, I want to sit for a while." He nodded and led me towards our table where Alice and Jasper were already sitting.

**Alice's POV**

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I was so excited! I wanted to scream on the top of my lungs. My brother and my very close friend were getting married. I knew they didn't believe it was a good thing but I had a very strong feeling about this I knew every thing was going to be okay, In fact it will be more than okay, it would be perfect!

Just thinking about it made me want to bounce- which, I, of course, already was - and squeal and hug every one. When I had these kind feelings they were always right, and every one knew better than to bet against me.

Bella had been very ridicules till the vows, refusing to look up at Edward until she absolutely had to. Well of course, she didn't know it was Edward at the time but it still didn't make it any less stupid.

She looked absolutely amazing in her gown and she and Edward looked very beautiful together, they complimented each other.

I had been so excited about both of them getting married unlike the two of them. I rolled my eyes at that.

They both have been acting very weird and immature by not inquiring about who their groom and bride were going to be, I swear sometimes both of them almost alike.

Bella looked stunning in her dress, but I have already mentioned that. Bella had never seen herself clearly, never saw herself as beautiful, but I made sure that today she is forced to see herself as the woman she truly is.

I had known about this long before even Edward and Bella got to know about their fates and that is the reason why I took a long break from my university and came back to New York City. And anyway I had pretty much done most of the course work myself and was pretty much ahead of the school.

I had arranged Edward and Bella's meeting in the mall and of course Angela had helped, it was necessary or they both would be going into shock and a an anxiety attack right now, not that it is any different now, they both are definitely in shock.

I had done a lot of hard work in planning the whole wedding, I knew Bella well and was aware of the fact that if Bella had it her way and stop being so damn stubborn, she would want her wedding to be very romantic and dream like. So that is exactly I had gone out and achieved and I am damn sure she loved it but wont admit it because she was suppose to not like any of this, I rolled my eyes again at this. For such a bright girl she could definitely be dumb sometimes.

Edward had not been any different the whole month, sulking and moody. He accepted that he had to do it because he thought one of the ways to pay him back for adopting him. I found that really stupid as it was stupid, none of us expected anything from him in return because he had always been my older brother and Carlisle and Esme's son. But that is how my brother's mind works. He can also be a dumb ass. See you get what I mean by both of them being alike.

All of us had been subjected to their sexual attraction from the past years. But both of them were very stubborn and arrogant to back down and admit it. Seriously, it was difficult to be in the same room as them with out getting uncomfortable and filled with lust.

Those were the nights when I'd be cursing Bella and using the magic my vibrator provided because I wanted no one else but Jasper. And speaking of Jasper I knew he was going to ask me out on a date tonight. That was also part of the reason why I was so damn excited.

They were both dancing on the stage as husband and wife. They looked lost in love and of course, lust with the way they were looking at each other. It was as if they were both lost in their own little bubble.

I know my brother well and for a fact I also know that he likes Bella, a lot. Yes, it isn't love yet, but it'll soon be. They both had and have great chemistry.

It is the best thing that has ever happened to them and they both also know it.

"Ugh! It's even hard to look at them without getting aroused." Rosalie whispered and I giggled at her. She gave me a questioning look because even she knew there was something else up with me.

"Ali just spit it out." She said in fake exaggeration.

I looked around the table to see if anyone was listening in and saw Jasper looking at me. I gave him a flirty smile and he winked back at me. I giggled and leaned in closer o Rose to whisper, "Jazz is going to ask me out tonight!"

She beamed back at me and I silently squealed.

We both went to the dance floor with Jasper and Emmett. Half of the night was spent in dancing and photographs and obviously flirting with Jasper and Rosalie giving me smirks from across the dance floor.

We made our way to the table and saw Bella and Edward already sitting there and talking with Esme and Carlisle.

"God I am famished!" exclaimed Emmett from behind me. I swear the guy was always hungry.

Just then the DJ announced all the guests to take their seats because the food was being served. Emmett cheered and ran to his seat; we all laughed at him and took our own seats.

After the dinner was finished the waiters rolled out the three step cake and Bella and Edward cut it while we all cheered. Bella obviously blushed like a beet root and Edward just smiled and stared at her.

They did the rest of the traditions a bride and groom does while Bella reached her new record of blushing.

It was time for them to leave for the airport for their honey moon and Bella had to get out of her gown. They were both going to Italy. Obviously Rose and I had arranged that because none of them had even bothered.

We have booked a luxurious hotel in Italy with the most romantic view and they sure as hell are going to be surprised when they see their room. I Giggled. I was feeling way to giddy for my own good.

Bella was talking to the guests with Edward, Rose and I made our way to her and I exclaimed cheerfully, "if you all excuse the bride for a minute, or probably more than that, we have to get her ready!"

"Alice what else do you want to get me ready for? I am perfectly fine!" Bella said incredulously.

I sighed, have I mentioned how stupid and naïve she can be sometimes, "Bella don't you want to go for our honey moon? If you want to go to the airport in your wedding gown then you could have told me that before I selected your perfect going away outfit."

Her eyes widened in shock, looks like she had forgotten she would be traveling.

She blushed and started stuttering, "I …. A … I didn't…" I laughed at her and said, "Bella lets just go and Edward why don't you go and change I have already put your outfit out, just go and change."

He saluted me, "as you wish." He grumbled. I huffed. I have no idea why but sometimes they act as if I boss them around. Well, I think I do. Well, only sometimes.

We led Bella to the room we had booked for her to change in the hotel. I had picked out an amazing dress for her; I could already imagine how stunning she will look in it.

I was vibrating with excitement. Bella was eyeing me curiously, I knew I hadn't completely dispersed her suspicions back in the spa, I had just distracted her.

She turned to Rose on her left and asked, "Why is she vibrating so much? And don't give me shit about it's because I am married or she is my brides maid because I know there is something else to the story. So spill." She demanded. I swear the girl should be a detective.

Rose sighed. But she too looked excited, "Jazz is going to grow some balls and ask her out." She beamed at the end of her sentence.

Bella looked shocked and then suddenly angry, I was confused by her expressions and emotions because this was the last thing I had expected.

"And you thought it wasn't important to tell me Alice!" she whispered-yelled furiously.

I was stunned for a minute before I replied, "You were already so stressed. And any way I told Rosalie a few hours ago." I said apologetically.

She sighed and nodded and then she looked excited for me the way I had expected her to react.

We reached our room and thrust Bella in a chair and started taking the bobby pins out of her hair. She sighed in relief when every pin was out and her hair was left loose. I giggled. I knew it hurt to tie your hair in such a manner. I combed my fingers in her hair and let it cascade down her back.

"Now get up!" I chirped.

She sighed but did as I said. I opened the zipper on the back of her dress and carefully stripped her out of it. Bella was really shy, she was never comfortable standing in front of us girls in nothing, hell she wasn't even comfortable standing in front us in her undergarments. And this could sometimes be very irritating at times like these. I bet she gave, whoever was waxing her, a hell of a time.

"Bella stop being so shy and fidgeting! I am not going to rape you! Did you forget I have been lusting after Rose's brother for as long as I have known him!" I said with a huff

She glared at me but fortunately stopped fidgeting and covering herself, which any way was fruitless. Rose came into the room with Bella's 'going away' dress and accessories.

I quickly helped her in while Rose strapped her into her heels. I took of her necklace while Rose strapped her bracelet on and I gave Bella her diamond dangling earrings to wear.

I sprinted to the bedroom to see if anything was left. I came back inside the bathroom and saw Rose giving some last touches to her hair. I smiled as I saw Bella through her head back and laugh at some joke Rose cracked. She really looked happy and after a very long time at that.

I like I said, her dress looked perfect on her. It was a one strap left shoulder dress; there was a silk white belt-like cloth below her chest which covered the whole circumference. On the left side was a white fake diamond broche on the silk belt, the silk cloth ruffled out on the top of the broche twice giving a flower like projection.

The dress reached her mid thigh and flowed out a bit. The white heels made the dress complete. She looked absolutely sexy and breathtaking.

"You look absolutely perfect! You are all set for your honeymoon!" I gushed.

She rolled her eyes at me but looked a bit apprehensive about something.

"Alice please tell me you haven't packed my bags." She looked truly frightened now.

"Of course silly I have. Who else would? And I have packed the nest clothes." I winked at her. Sometimes this girl just confused the hell out of me.

She groaned and muttered about buying something to wear in Italy which made me give a life threatening glare. She turned around and started muttering under her breath, I turned my head and switched my glare to Rosalie as she was laughing her ass of beside Bella.

It just caused her to double over with laughter. Tears were streaming down her face which pissed me off even more.

Bella glanced back at me and gave me a mischievous smirk. As soon as I saw the smirk making its way on her face I knew she was up to no good.

She walked up to Rose and stomped on Rose's foot. Her laughter immediately died down and she screamed, "Bitch!" this caused both of us to laugh because the look on Rose's face was priceless.

"Hey I am married! You should forgive me tonight" Bella said as she knew Rose was a vindictive bitch. Rose just sighed and nodded.

"Okay let's go or you'll be late for your flight." Bella sighed and nodded solemnly and followed us out the suite's door.

I stepped in to the room where the wedding was being held and Edward walked up to Bella. She looked up at him and blushed and Edward smirked at her. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear and Bella nodded while blushing.

We led them to the limousine which was waiting outside with both of their luggage. Bella and Edward waved at us and stepped inside the car and were off to the airport.

Now it would just take a matter of minutes for Jasper to come up and ask me out. I shared a look with Rose and grinned which she replied with grin of her own.

I told her that I'd be in the pool side of the hotel and she nodded, obviously knowing what I was planning.

The pool side was quite magical, every girl would want to be asked out and have her first kiss with the guy she has been crushing on and planning her wedding with there. I chose the specific place because it was damn sexy, and I would love to see his package in the light of the soft glow from the lanterns and of course the water from the pool which will 'accidentally' spill on him. God I am a psychic.

I smirked and headed off to my destination. This was going to be a lot of fun…

I took my gimmy choo heels off and popped down near the pool. I dipped my feet inside the water and began moving them to and fro.

Now all I had to do was wait for Jasper to show his cute ass. Not literally of course, though it would be damn nice if he did. I giggled out loud on the thought.

"What's a pretty lady like you sitting all alone in a place like this?" jasper drawled lazily in a southern action. I looked beside me to see him plopping down next to me.

"Did you copy that from a song? Because I am sure I have heard it some where." He smiled sheepishly.

"I might have." He said shyly. I loved the way he switched to being shy in just a matter of seconds sometimes.

"So… Edward and Bella make hot couple don't they?" he said. I nodded in agreement. I could hear his voice quivering at the end of his question. That was his tell tale sign of nervousness.

"Is there a reason why you are nervous?" I asked coyly. I had planned to make him work and sweat before he worked up the courage to ask me out on a date.

But I was realizing that it was a lot of damn work. If there was something I didn't have was patience. And any way I wanted to kiss the bejezus out of him, and that was pretty impossible if he was nervous since the very beginning.

I dipped my left shoulder a little lower to put more of my cleavage on display. My dress was pretty low and I am sure he could already see the swell of my breast but there was no harm in showing just a little more. If it was up to me I would have been naked and riding his cock a long time ago.

His breathing faltered as he eyed my breast. His mouth was opening and closing but no words came out, he looked like a fish over there for a minute.

I giggled. I was enjoying his ogling my boobs a little too much. I brought my pointer finger of my right hand towards his chin and gave it just a slight tug so that he could meet my eyes, even though all I wanted to do was jut my chest out for him see and squeeze. I almost moaned at the mental image but fortunately I didn't.

"Saw something you like?" I whispered seductively. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "Is there something you want to say?" I asked in the same manner and drew my hand back and placed it across my collar bone and rubbed it to and fro.

I had caught him staring across my collar bones many times and I knew he would love to replace my hands with his and comply with what I was doing.

His eyes jumped back and forth, from my hands on my collar bones to my eyes. he rubbed a hand across his face, – this meant he is awfully nervous and that things aren't going the way he wanted. Of course how could they? After all it was me in the equation, and even if I let him do things on his own pace and way, I'd have my first exactly two months from now, which is eight weeks, sixty one days, one thousand four hundred and sixty four hours and eighty seven thousand, eight hundred and forty minutes and I haven't counted the seconds yet, so you get what I mean right? I am way too impatient to wait that long – he looked up at me from beneath his lashes and said in a very nervous voice, "you already know what I am going to ask you?"

"Well if you mean what you are going to ask me next or say next, I am not so sure, but if mean what you are really here for and the reason why you are so damn nervous. Then yes of course." I said giggling.

"Well why don't you give me the answer and put me out of my misery?" aha! So he wanted the easy way out, not happening dude!

"What question?" I asked playing dumb. I have to say I have amazing acting skills.

"You are not gonna make it easy on me, are you? He asked sighing.

"Nope!" I sang.

"Well than here goes nothing. Alice I have wanted to ask you this since a very long time but didn't have the courage, will you please go out on a date with me? He added please as an after thought.

I wanted to stay silent and act as if I was contemplating my answer but I was way too excited about the prospect of kissing him and not to mention he looked really very, very, nervous.

"of course I will." I said smiling brightly.

The smile that broke across his face was very charming. I did what I had wanted to do since the last couple of years.

I swiftly straddled his lap and stopped just mere inches away from his lips. "I think I am a little too impatient to go around your way." He looked startled by my whorish way, but I couldn't make myself care about it.

I crushed my lips to his and brought my hands underneath his shirt to rub his well defined abs. he groaned at the sensation and crushed me to him rubbing his hands across my exposed back.

Our tongues were mingling together, engaged in a seductive dance. He rubbed his hand on the side of my hips and slowly brought his hands up to lightly graze the side of my breasts. I moaned in to his mouth and crushed myself further in to him.

The bulge in his pants came in contact with the desire pooled in between my thighs and the feeling it evoked was nearly overwhelming. I thrust my hips just as he did the same and we both groaned in unison.

I was already in heaven…

**Authur'd note:**

**please review...**


End file.
